Asking For Help Is An Act Of Strength

True or false? “We are all in this together.” What do you believe? Is this a hostile or a friendly universe? Is it scary to admit I might not know it all, may not do it all, I may need to rely on others to survive and thrive? Is my pride telling me I am a failure if I am not independent, self-sufficient, have got it all together while maybe I am dying trying? Is it weak to ask for help? Am I afraid there will be strings attached if someone helps me, they will somehow have power over me? Will I be obligated to them and owe them? Does this seem logical? Does this feel loving?

Or is there mutual giving and receiving? Is it beneficial for the person giving help and also the one receiving help? It feels good to help one another, right? Do people give without expectations of receiving because it is a win-win situation? Because every kindness ripples through us all, uplifting all? When we are peaceful, loved, secure, and supported, doesn’t it propel us towards more joy and the ability to be more productive, loving, and of service to all? 

The fear of not enough to go around the belief in scarcity has us bamboozled. May it be spiritual or physical, there is an abundance when love is freely allowed.

I grew up hearing about how hard it is to get by. That it is important to work hard and make as much money as possible, to be practical and respectable. That people judge those who have less and think they are better than others because they have more. That people are beneath them and why help others when they work hard while others don’t. That to get by you must hold on to what you have for dear life and be on the watch for others trying to steal yours, the survival of the fittest, competing, and struggling. Tit for tat. I do all of this; you need to at least match what I do and if not; you owe me. Who gets to decide what is owed, what is comparable in sharing the load? I wonder. And since I do things for you, spend money on you, provide for you, give to you, and am in a relationship with you… I have control over you. If you do not comply with my wishes, then you receive limited or no support from me. Strings attached. Or in order for people to support us and accept us socially, to love us, we have to think, behave and physically appear in a certain way, or else we are shunned, even abused, bullied. Especially by the ones we rely on the most, our own families. Sound familiar to anyone? Does it have to be this way?

It is no wonder that we forget we are all in this together. Because of our social conditioning, we forget what is most important, lose our way in fearful mindsets. What is most important? Some say that is highly subjective. I believe that if we look within, deep down we can all know, admit and agree, that love is most important. Love does not support limitations, separation, exclusion. Focusing on hardship, suffering, and scarcity is not loving, nor is it conducive to thriving. Trying to control and compete is not loving. What would happen if we cooperated and championed one another? What if we focused on abundance and prosperity? What if we believed that there is more than enough of everything to go around for everyone? Doesn’t this feel amazing, to believe that we can have and share… with more than enough to go around always? What would it take to believe in love and abundance again?

I remember the day when this shifted for me. A coworker with small children lost everything in a fire. Donations were made, and I had money with me, yet hesitated to give all of it, having been under financial strain because of hurricane damages. I then reflected and realized that I had everything I needed. This person just lost everything, how devastating. Why, of course, I could afford to give whatever I had, and it was fine, absolutely. I still have anxiety about making ends meet, yet realize that if I am ever in dire need, there will always be a helping hand and someone to catch me when I fall.

Also during that time frame, I, being in need in the wake of hurricane Gustav, had asked for help and received it abundantly. In extreme circumstances, we were blessed beyond measure, and this cemented my belief. If I am open to receiving help, it is always there. That’s how things work. It is a universal law. We create by believing, asking, allowing, giving, and receiving. As Wayne Dyer says, ” You have to believe it before you see it.” What we believe sets the stage for what manifests in our lives. Why not believe in, “Ask and ye shall receive?”

Painful events leave us reeling, and this is when we can benefit most by opening ourselves to receiving. No one remains free of pain here and I believe we are all willing to pitch in and help one another, yet fear boxes us in. We close ourselves off in the false belief that this will protect us when it only perpetuates fear, pain, and separation. Avoiding responsibility by denying our needs and overlooking the need of others hinders the flow of support, abundance, and love.

I know it feels extremely vulnerable and unsafe to be in need and also to give sometimes seems to risk consumption. This is when boundaries keep the balance. Codependency is not the answer, but interdependency and reciprocity are based on each person’s strengths and abilities. Where there is an allowance of individual differences and ways of being, yet mutual respect and loving-kindness. Where everyone is free, yet supportive of one another without sacrificing themselves. If more people made it paramount to do what it takes to maintain their health, happiness and sought help in achieving optimal emotional, physical and spiritual fitness, how would that be?

Seeking help can realign us with our oneness and give us hope when all seems lost. We are here for one another and can empathize because we all experience pain and loss. If we are not willing to accept help, then it only prolongs suffering and there is fallout on the ones we love. Collateral damage by denial of love, refusing to be honest, resisting healing, being our own worst enemies and stagnating in fear. Accepting help requires owning up to parts of life we avoid, painful wounds, unhealed anger, and resentments, to our darkness… then relentlessly seeking whatever works to relieve our pain healthily. Allowing others to shine their lights and help show the way to heal the ravaged, dimmed aspects of our souls.

Asking for help is powerful because we then can fulfill our function of loving one another until we awaken to the reality of our unity, our home, our oneness in love. We are all in this together. Receiving help shows us compassion and maybe we can forgive ourselves and extend this forgiveness to others. Feeling unworthy because we believe the evidence displayed by wounded others can be transmuted by someone helping us. Accepting even our most damaged aspects, providing us evidence to the contrary… that we are worthy and lovable, no matter what. Yet only I can be open to help and I am the only one who can transform myself, only I can choose to transcend fear. No one else can do this for me. I must do this inner work. I must be open to a different way. I must let go of my ego. I must choose love.

All the help and love in the universe will rise to meet you with a little willingness to accept it. Surrendering to love and transcending fear. The logical heart is always tuned into the frequency of love. Asking for help sets the station where loving, healing, abundance may flow. Powerful indeed. Asking for help is an act of strength.