I Can Do What I Want Challenge! I want to help ❤️🌈😃

I’ve been blogging since 2013 sharing what’s helped me navigate the twists and turns of life in hope that it may help others.

I’d like to help in a greater capacity though.

I used to be anxious, depressed, a codependent/caretaker who didn’t know how to be loving of herself, who didn’t have healthy boundaries, who thought that’s just how life was?

I grew up in relationship with people who had mental health issues along with abusive behaviors which colored my world in ways that held me back. I internalized all the shame and unworthiness, tried to be perfect and emotionless to cope in the unpredictable, Jekyll-Hyde environment.

As a teen I had anorexia and attempted suicide. As a young adult I drank excessively at times, binge ate and experimented with drugs. My first relationship paralleled the patterns of abusive behavior I experienced growing up.

I managed to succeed and finish college despite my challenges. I began to get better, having a nursing degree, a good job brought a measure of stability. I could fare on my own if I chose to. But fear, obligation and guilt kept me hostage.

It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I realized that my childhood was very far from healthy. And I realized my adult relationships needed reevaluation as well. I loved my children with a depth I’d never known before and I felt the highest accountability towards them and worked towards becoming the best parent possible. I knew that I didn’t know what was healthy and my journey began in earnest at that point. A light bulb went off. I had to change for the better and quickly.

I learned how to be self aware, connected, compassionate, loving and kind towards myself so I could be the same for our children. Since then I’ve never stopped learning and healing.

I’ve broken free from lifelong defensive coping patterns that have kept me unhappy and stuck. I am so grateful to be where I am today, healthier, peaceful, joyful and thriving. I spent decades on becoming aware, educating myself, forming healthy practices/habits, gaining clarity, self knowledge, making the difficult choices and taking action. Transforming my life in ways that I didn’t believe were possible.

My dream is to help others do the same.

I kept thinking, “I wish I would’ve known all of this sooner, I wish we were taught these things all of our lives.” I kept wishing I could help others because I’d done all the searching, experimenting to find what works. Maybe I could help others somehow get an earlier start on transforming their lives into happier, healthier, peaceful, compassionate ones.

I’ve learned practices through trial and error, sifting through all of the resources until I found what’s worked for me.

I’d like to share my experience to help others to heal and find that place inside that allows you to feel safe, peaceful, loved and at home, resilient and strong through the challenges of life that we all face. To act based on the logical heart, the love from within that guides you to what’s best for you.

To help heal the programs from the past that have us believing that we must be fearful and vigilant because of the environments we knew fell short in some ways, it’s unavoidable, we all go through adversity.

When this happens we may develop defensive patterns in order to survive. We may blame ourselves during childhood believing because we feel bad, we are bad. Depending on the age when we have adverse experiences, we may not be conscious of the mechanisms which become triggered as adults.

We don’t remember what happened, but out bodies do. Our biology is caught in a reactive loop which can cause difficulty in forming and maintaining healthy relationships and can even lead to addictions or manifest as physical or mental illnesses decades into the future.

The good news is that we are able to heal, learn healthier practices, have more aligned lives/relationships and that our neurobiology can be healed as well. New scientific studies are making enormous strides in discovering ways to heal our traumas. What I discovered through trial and error, scientists now have data to validate that these practices do help us get better.

If I can do it others can too!

I’d really love to help others heal and transform their lives, like I have.

This is my path with a heart.

I will continue to share and help in whatever ways I can.

Please feel free to message me with questions, suggestions or concerns!

Love and hugs y’all! 😀 <3 <3 <3

Michelle Miyagi
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