Only Love

I am honing in on precisely where I can be the most help. Here’s what I see and wish I could help others choose more lovingly.

I see people trapped in negative, habitual patterns, feedback loops, repeating the same responses, essentially keeping themselves trapped and suffering, which creates fallout everywhere they go. I too am working on shedding these unconscious patterns and choosing healthier practices as I become increasingly more aware.

I used to be in situations and relationships where I walked on eggshells and was afraid, traumatized, and reactive. I had anxiety and self-hatred, seeking to avoid drama and keep in favor by conforming and complying. I tried to be perfect according to society’s and my family’s standards and tried to maintain control by pleasing loved ones. If I could just be what they wanted me to be, then they would be happy and treat me well. I sought to avoid punishment from others and the world. I often felt unworthy, lacking, and guilty. I kept trying to be what the world wanted me to be, but it wasn’t working. I continued to encounter harshness, rage, unpredictability, and disrespect.

I thought it was all my fault.

Later, as I grew in awareness, I realized I had been in abusive situations, that I didn’t know any better because that’s how I grew up.

I see traumatized people who are stuck in unhealthy patterns where they get triggered, lash out, and essentially repeat the same intergenerational behaviors. It’s all unhealed, uncorrected effects of trauma.

I see people stay in abusive situations because they feel guilty, obligated and don’t want to hurt anyone. They feel overly responsible for others and don’t love themselves enough to leave. They have distorted boundaries where they’ve been conditioned to choose others’ welfare above their own. I used to be one of those people, but not so much anymore.

I’ve learned to love myself and have healthier boundaries. I’ve healed from past traumas and have discovered practices that keep me emotionally regulated, peaceful, grounded, and present. Trying to control the external by becoming what I’m not is a path to chaos. I’ve learned how to reconnect with my internal wisdom and truth, where our true power lies in the logical heart. The only way to escape from the drama is to begin from within. To heal our minds first, then we can have the clarity to make the most loving choices which are beneficial to us all.

I used to numb out, to avoid facing the hurt, the trauma, the heartbreaking feelings which we try to stuff down and make disappear. I felt such shame. My late teens and early twenties were a roller coaster of drama.

Eventually, I came across more information through watching Oprah, heh. I began questioning and reading books that were suggested. I went to nursing school and learned even more. I gradually became more aware that maybe it wasn’t just me, that maybe it wasn’t my fault?

Then I had children and everything got better from there. Having children made me see everything in a new light. I saw their innocence and so then I could see that I was just the same, innocent, that the way they socially conditioned me was not appropriate. I could never treat our children so harshly.

Now I see we are all innocent. We are all living out unconscious patterns that are passed down through the eons.

I began rewriting my story in my mind from that higher awareness, and I educated myself to the fullest extent because I did not want history to keep repeating itself through my unconscious unhealthy patterns. I tried to be the best parent possible, but it took a while for me to heal. And I’m still healing or undoing, removing all the barriers to love.

The internet sped up the process, so thankful for this ability to share so vastly here.

I read, researched, meditated, shifted my mindset, developed healthy eating patterns, I used to have eating disorders. I transformed into a healthier, more loving, productive, peaceful, joyful person, which empowered me to make difficult transitions in my life, which were ultimately the most beneficent choices. I started listening to the logical heart which knew what was truthfully best, things that I couldn’t possibly know from my limited egoic perspective. I actively pursued and invested in personal development and spirituality.

I would love to help others do this too.

I would like to help people learn healthier patterns, heal their traumas, to make the most loving choices in their lives that will benefit us all.

I believe I could point people in the right direction and could facilitate self-love, self-knowledge, and empowerment. Most of all, I’d help others choose what’s best for them, the choices/practices that will lead to forgiveness, joy, freedom, and lasting peace.

Hopefully, I’ll figure this all out, how to share processes that will help, here on The Logical Heart Knows Best in this upcoming year. That’s the plan! 😀

“Everything you teach you are learning. Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love. ” ACIM