Comforting Treasures

The Logical Heart Knows Best

I just finished taking pictures of old photos with my phone and making a Facebook album to share with family. I know I have more photos to share with them too, but they’re in bags and it’s too late tonight to go scavenging for them. The ones I managed to share were already easily accessible in a photo album.

The photos were of the times we spent in California, well when I was old enough to have a camera and conscientious enough to take pictures.

It’s so wonderful to have those memories captured and frozen in time in pics. You can’t help but create a kind of time capsule because you also see the environment, the fashions, cars, decorations, objects, hairstyles, it’s so incredible how everything keeps changing so rapidly.

I get transported back to those sweet, youthful, tender, mischievous, playful and rambunctious times we cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents shared together.

When you’re young you don’t realize how much you’re gonna treasure those precious innocent times and the enormity of the impact it will make in your development and the trajectory of your life.

Looking at the images all of those memories come flooding in, the laughter, the sweaty wrestling, teasing, chasing, the sun illuminating our cherubic faces filtered through the oleanders and sycamore trees.

It’s a comforting treasure these pictures my 14 year old self took.

We came together as a family to celebrate our dearest Uncle Michi. I know we’re not supposed to have favorites, but I admit it, I did. It was Uncle Michi. if you met him, he’d be your favorite too, I swear to God!

His personality was so big, beautiful and shiny, you’d get sunburn in his presence. His dark, sarcastic, gallows humor, unparalleled. His heart infinitely humongous, compassion out the wazoo always embracing, accepting, encouraging, sharing and giving. Just oozing love from his pores and shooting it like lasers from his eyes, but with a sharp edged boundary if need be and he wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is, in a hilarious, snarky, playful manner. His enormous smile and infectious laughter will be so missed.

I want to pay tribute to him by creating as many positive ripples as possible in the world, like he did. He positively impacted so many people, it’s mind boggling.

His husband Rory is like him, he’s my uncle too now and I know I’m not supposed to have favorites, but he’s my second favorite uncle after Michi.

I want to write more, but I don’t want to cry anymore. I need to get some sleep, got an early day tomorrow,

I was lying next to my husband holding hands before he went to work today and I felt Uncle Michi’s presence. It made me smile and I felt light, tingly and my chest and heart felt expanded with extra love, it’s like a bright, sparkly, euphoric feeling.

I could feel his immense, joyous love and I kept looking around the room to see if maybe I could catch a glimpse of his spirit. I could hear him telling me everything was okay with him and how much he loved us, but it wasn’t words, it was feelings and glimmers.

It was so sweet that we were holding hands when he visited, I got all verklempt. He stayed for a few minutes more after Drue left for work and I felt comforted, joyous and sad at the same time, smiling and crying, how paradoxical. I kept nodding my head, because he kept reassuring me and I wanted him to know I understood.

I don’t know how real this is, but I’ve felt people visit me before after they’ve died. It’s a different feeling, not from this plane. It’s almost electric the way it feels, like you might zoom away because it’s so effervescent.

Anyway, time isn’t as it seems and I know in truth that we’re always together and the only time is forever now. It’s so comforting to time travel through old photos though and relive all of those cherished times we shared when we didn’t even realize how fast it goes by, it wasn’t even a thought in our little minds about how we might wanna soak it all in and carve it into our souls…it happened anyway, it was just that good and wonderful, indelible, remarkable.

I’m infinitely thankful for our time together. LOVE ?

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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