The Logical Heart Knows Best

First I want to apologize for my frustration which lent to a harsher tone in some recent posts. I took the bait, someone commented on one of my Facebook posts that they would not be changing much at all in response to the pandemic, calling it hysteria and I couldn’t believe it.

You know how when you care a lot, sometimes you get carried away and you think that if you become more passionate, blunt and stern, that maybe it will get through? Well, that’s where I went. I know that everyone has different beliefs and reasons for how they live and behave. Not everyone has medical, scientific, or microbiology knowledge and may not fully comprehend what’s happening, even with all of the data and news coverage, they just don’t get it. So me being straight up about it and a bit abrasive won’t help get the point across either, in fact, it may do the opposite. So, I’m learning as I go lol 🙂

I just want the best outcomes possible for everyone and sharing information so people can practice what prevents the spread is key.

I was so relieved to receive the phone call I’d been waiting for from work. For the time being the buffet is shut down and so I’m out of a job for now. But that’s fine with me because stopping the spread is worth it. Now I don’t have an ethical dilemma anymore, yay!

Now’s not the time for job hunting either unless I want to be a nurse again. I really don’t have it in me anymore though and the MdDS limits me. It was a challenge working the 3 shifts I did as a breakfast buffet (cook/dishwasher/busser/housekeeper) host. Honestly, I don’t know how many times I’ve contemplated if I needed to start the process of going on disability since 2015. But I’m stubborn, determined and don’t complain. So no one knows the truth except for me 🙂 I keep persevering.

Fortunately, we had an unexpected windfall and have some cushion to tide us over. It looks like my partner who’s also in hospitality may possibly have a temporary layoff. I guess we could apply for unemployment? I’ll have plenty of time to research, lol 🙂

We both were dragging a** today. We felt bleh, under the weather, I think it’s psychological for the most part. These are unsettling times, everything is up in the air, there’s a weightiness with an underlying urgency and an enveloping cloud of sadness and resignation.

Everyone is trying to help in their own ways. At first, I couldn’t laugh about the jokes and memes because there were too many people not taking it seriously. Now that it appears that the federal government comprehends the gravity of the situation, I feel a little more reassured. At least there is more momentum towards containment and preparation for the weeks/months/years ahead. It must be intensely frustrating for state leaders because of the lack of federal leadership, coordination, communication, and support.

Online I see people who are into let’s focus on the positive, don’t let fear take over, high vibe, energy healers and such contrasting with the frustrated posts about lack of coordination/leadership and the downplaying of the outbreak, to the fact sharing, informative, posts. Everyone is freely expressing while seeking validation and encouragement and people are being receptive. There’s an unprecedented graciousness going on.

People are offering to help get groceries for those older more at-risk groups or even just an open offer to call and talk if people are feeling isolated, afraid and lonely.

Everyone is just trying to help in the ways they think are best. Everyone is sharing links for free online museums, animal cams, concerts, meditation sessions, how to cope in crisis facebook lives, artist-led doodling, famous chef cooking classes, actors performing, people singing, free online courses, live feed dance parties…so much love and generosity, caring and connection. It’s heartwarming, comforting and beautiful. Everyone is reaching out, opening their hearts and embracing all as one, uniting together to help us all weather through this suddenly shifting reality.

We don’t know what the outcome may be or what new world awaits us in the aftermath. I have to say I am encouraged by the kindness and caring I am witnessing. Maybe it’ll trickle up to the powers that be.

I agree with the posts about maybe this will be what it takes to wake us up and change things while we still can. Maybe we will transform and rebuild a more equitable, healthy, loving, sustainable globe?

For now, I’m doing my part by staying in, am feeling encouraged by the loving outpourings and am sending love and hugs to all. Even when I get exasperated, it’s from caring and is well-intentioned.

Today was a strange day, I didn’t go for a walk because I didn’t want to have to do a 6 foot swerve, lmao. I’ve been glued to the internet and checking in on everyone on social media. It’s that waiting for the other shoe to drop edginess, ya know? Please don’t drop shoe!

Adjusting here…breathe in, breathe out.

If anyone needs an empathetic ear and an open heart, I am here ?

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

Comments are closed.