The Logical Heart Knows Best

Our state, Colorado, is implementing stay at home/shelter in place as of tomorrow morning until April 11th. Thank goodness.

Today I ventured out for some groceries and I finally got us a vacuum cleaner. Since we moved here a year and a half ago, I got a small 15 dollar stick vac which did well on the floors, but not so much on the carpeted areas. It sucked up the dust, but not the hair.

Because we’ve been financially strapped for the past 9 years, I’ve had to decide what I valued enough to spend money on. Shoes, the children’s tuition, and personal development was higher on the list, a vacuum, well, I made do. I used one of my extra hairbrushes and swirled it by hand all over the carpet to get the hairs. It was surprisingly effective, though labor-intensive.

We both have allergies and a dog used to live here just prior to us moving in. There are still white dog hairs worming their way out from the carpet. I googled about it and animal hairs stay embedded and it’s hard to get them up. I’ve been wanting a vacuum, but I deferred it until now. There’s more carpet here, and a hairbrush doesn’t get the dog hair.

I immediately put that sucker together and vacuumed everywhere. It was so gratifying. Then I got on a roll. I mopped, wiped down the counters/cabinets, washed the towels and mats, cleaned the bathroom. So the entire apartment is fresh and clean. I also bought allergen covers for the pillows on our bed, which I’ve also deferred until now. It’s gonna help our sinuses, yay!

We’re all stocked up with food and TP, lol…glad I got a big pack before cuz there’s none left at the store. We shouldn’t have to get anything for at least 2 weeks. The apartment is all clean too, I even put away odds and ends and made it more organized. It feels ahhh in here. I had the balcony door open all day. The fresh air and sunshine lifted my spirits. I love having a view of the horizon as the sun sets; the clouds turning vibrant pink hues against the darkening blue night sky.

I even played guitar for a bit and made it more accessible so I’ll be more likely to practice. When I was driving in the car I sang, it felt so wonderful. I miss singing so much.

The sinus congestion I have is easing, and I was less wobbled, I was becoming irritated about it, then felt stupid because, you know, the pandemic. So I’ve been counting my blessings and coming to acceptance of what we’re all facing. There’s only so much I can do, so I am choosing to surrender to that fact.

I’ve stopped sharing as much about the pandemic on social media because if people haven’t figured it out by now, they’re not gonna and there are plenty of others posting information. It got to be too much of a battle zone where instead of unity, support and cohesiveness it was chaos, division, and attack.

I watched the 3rd episode of the Pandemic documentary series on Netflix. It’s really helping me feel better, knowledge helps. There are systems in place to track, survey, and control outbreaks, there are teams globally steadfastly working to stay on top of it. It’s just hard to stay one step ahead, though. You have to work fast and efficiently at the first signs of an outbreak. You can’t wait and see. The experts are well aware of this, and they’re the ones we need to listen to if we want the best outcomes.

Some of my former nursing coworkers are working in hard-hit Louisiana, and my heart breaks for them. Mardi gras was right when the first cases were developing in the US and it took a foothold there. My heart is with all of them.

In my mind, I want to connect and share more, be productive, and use this time effectively to help if I can, but the rest of me isn’t up for it yet. Maybe once I get rid of this cold, I will contribute more. Sometimes it seems my body gets sick to save me from myself. I get overzealous and make it do too much, or force it to do things it doesn’t like, and it rebels.

I have lots to say about how I wish the world would emerge for the better as a response to what we’re learning from this pandemic. The thing is though, how do we create the change we wish to see in the world? The changes that I envision are massive. How can we all converge, attain coherence and be like the virus, creating exponential change, saving Earth and humanity?

Let me get over this cold first, let’s make it through this pandemic, then let’s share ideas and work to save the world together, heh, no really.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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