Comfort Days
Another lumpy blob kind of day here. I keep getting tricked by my body. Like yesterday I felt better in the morning. The congestion, sinus pressure, and wheezing were close to none and I looked like myself in the mirror, facial swelling gone, eyes clear, depuffed. I felt almost normal, except still more wobbled than usual. Jinxed me by saying that I felt so much better and didn’t realize how bad I had been feeling. By afternoon, it all came back. I looked in the mirror, all bleary and puffy, then later began having visual disturbances, pre-migraine aura…grrr. Today the sinuses have been on the blink still, so I surrendered to it. Big ole lumpy blob wobbly rolling around in bed ramen noodle day.
It’s difficult to be inspired and creative when you don’t feel well or when you’re navigating uncertain times. You just feel like taking it easy and soothing yourself, being a big cozy puffball for a bit. And it’s okay. I give myself permission to do nothing and eat ramen, heh.
I did some stuff today, just not as much as I’d liked to. Part of my routine was done, so that is good. I’m allowed to be human. Pacing myself accordingly keeps me healthier and prevents burnout. Learned that the hard way.
My heart dwells on everyone affected by the pandemic and I get sad, tears well up, I breathe deeply, give a big exhale, and then let it go. I surrender and sink into a deep place inside me that is soothing and peaceful. Just love, forgive, do what I can and honor the grief, the frustration, then keep going.
Focus on what you have control over. Do some simple tasks that give you an immediate sense of completion, that always helps, small victories.
Go ahead and journal. It helps release that grieving, anxiety, and fear. It frees me up so much to get it all out, shines light in, and sweeps out the dark, dusty corners in me I’m not fully aware of. It’s cathartic and healing.
It’s important to have breaks from all the media, too. Enjoying fun distractions, like watching a comedy, listening to music, playing games, moving the body helps elevate us so that we can stay present, fortified, and thankful. Though it may feel you shouldn’t be enjoying yourself or joking when others in the world are suffering, you’ve still got to function. Being depressed, somber and angry all the time will only sideline us even more. We also need light and hope to keep the faith, giving us the strength to carry on.
Gonna get back in bed now for my blob duties, more of The OA to watch on Netflix.
