Heartwarming Traditions

Today I treated myself and watched Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. It’s especially meaningful to me because I associate Star Wars with my dear Uncle Michi who was like a father to me, I adored and idolized him. He touched so many people’s lives in such a profound, loving, empowering way and I always wanted to emulate him. He brought us to see Star Wars at the theaters when it first came out. He knew so much of the dialogue by heart and we had so much fun with him! I loved his irreverence and playfulness.

I used to love taking the children to see the new Star Wars movies to share in that joyful experience and it was especially precious to me because in my mind it honored Uncle Michi and was like a shared tradition. There were times when they weren’t with me after divorce, others took them to see the movie when it came out, they beat me to it and that was really disappointing for me because it meant so much to me but I eventually got over it.

Now it takes a lot to get to me. I’m able to process my triggers and hurt feelings so quickly now and forgiveness has become more automatic. I know that nothing can touch the love that is me. I am so steady and strongly anchored in love. I realize that all of the hurtful behaviors that people engage in are about them staying in control, to make them feel better to benefit them in some way and have little to do with me. It’s all about them quelling their fears and feeding their egos.

I know now that I am inherently worthy and lovable, nothing can change that. I don’t have to take the bait and I don’t have to put up with bad behavior either. I can choose not to engage and I can choose where I invest my time and energy. The people who are bullies aren’t present in my life anymore. It is so incredible and every day I remember to be thankful, every day I count my blessings.

As I was immersed in Star Wars today I thought of Uncle Michi and found myself verklempt with emotion at certain scenes where it was nostalgic and touching. I loved it. It was satisfying to have that redemption in there. Don’t want to give spoilers lol.

The past couple of days I realized that the pressure is now off me. I’m so used to having to scramble, it’s a new space for me. So much peace and breathing room. I get to watch Star Wars if I wanna. I’m so used to time and energy constraints, trying to ration, partition everything to reach my goals, to create the life I envision. I’m accustomed to being squeezed. This expansiveness right now is so foreign for me and I’m trying to adjust to it. I’m still pinching myself. And it’s all surreal with the pandemic. Sometimes it feels like reality got warped, such a strange mix of wonderful and tragic, unreal.

We’re all readjusting, getting our bearings together. We’re being squeezed by the pandemic.

It’s snowing and I’m glad. It’s easier to stay inside that way. It’s strange to have snow on Easter, that never happened in Louisiana! And people are howling here at 8 pm in honor of the essential workers, omg! I’d read about it and the past few nights some people in our complex have been howling, it’s hilarious!

If I were magic the main thing I’d do is to have people realize that they’re inherently worthy and lovable. There’s a wellspring of love inside them that never goes away that they can tap into whenever they’re hurt or afraid. I’d make it so they never forgot this. From that solid foundation, they could always bounce back and do what’s right for them. They could love themselves and stay strong and secure in that knowledge. That love inside would guide them to take the most loving actions that were healthy for them. They’d only listen to that loving voice of truth, the logical heart.

Uncle Michi helped me stay in touch with that love. You never know how big of a difference you’ll make in the people you touch during your lifetime, by just being true to you like uncle Michi did spectacularly. Being true to love. I equate the force in Star Wars to love. Thank you, Uncle Michi!

Feeling filled with love and gratitude on this wintery Easter Sunday. May The Force Be With You.

Michelle Miyagi
%d bloggers like this: