The Logical Heart Knows Best

I tried something different today. I grocery shopped in the evening near closing time. It was even better than going in the morning. The shelves were more stocked as well. I was able to get more fresh produce than I have in weeks.

I also sat in the sun on our balcony at sunset. It only gets sun later a few hours before sunset. It felt nice to feel the warmth on my skin. The swallows were swooping near me in the sky. They have mud nests in the corners and eaves of the buildings.

We are beginning to have transient people hanging about near here. I expect the landscape is going to be changing as time goes on due to the impact of the pandemic.

There have been times in my life when I fantasized about running away from it all and being a nomad, or starting a new life where no one knew me. I love watching documentaries and movies about people doing that. I get to live vicariously that way.

I’ve noticed that I tend to leave the past in the past which also means I don’t revisit or keep close contacts from past jobs or school. I tend to focus my energy on the present and the people who are in my life currently. It gets too overwhelming for me otherwise. I prefer to keep things simple and peaceful.

I am resisting and also loving this restorative time, lol. One moment I’ll be, oh this is such a treat, what luxury and then the next I’ll be impatient, wanting to accomplish more, but I’m still recovering and don’t have the energy, so I then tell myself to settle down and just be good with it. And in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, please let me get all the way better because I don’t want to go to the doctor.

Today was a blank sort of day. I was thankful to get some stuff done, like grocery shopping and I’m also thankful that I’m not having to work while I’m sick which is what I would’ve had to do if I wasn’t furloughed. I’m thankful for so much. I’m fine with having a blank day and more quiet stay at home days ahead.

Soon enough there will be full to the brim days on the horizon. Blank days will do for a minute.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

Comments are closed.