Bats and Bunnies

The Logical Heart Knows Best

I try to focus on making progress and enjoying life, but these days there’s so much turmoil in the world, it’s like a dark cloud hovering. It’s keeping a distance of six feet, it’s a respectful, responsible cloud, lol.

I talk myself into keeping up my healthy routine so I will have the energy to serve and volunteer in the future. Volunteering is something tangible that will contribute to helping our communities and society make progress too. There are moments after reading the news I want to give up and run away, put my fingers in my ears, and sing, la la la la la. It’s too much. It’s heartbreaking, sad, and scary.

I checked out some library audiobooks on racism and bias. Knowledge always helps me feel better, the more I learn and understand, the less scary it is. I often wonder why some people don’t have any desire to educate themselves. The library is free, I’m so grateful for libraries!

I braved another grocery trip today because yesterday they didn’t have some items. I went to a different store and found the Beyond Burgers, yay! I also got some flowers, lavender, jalapenos, and rosemary to plant, plus more dirt. The other customers were behaving like the pandemic is over. It was crowded, many were maskless and people were not socially distancing or following the traffic pattern arrows.

With all of the trauma that’s happening it feels surreal to be going about my daily activities. It feels like the whole world should stop and fix everything right now! What am I doing buying groceries and eating strawberries in the sun? I need to fix it somehow. I sigh and decide to make the best of my day.

I’m loving taking a walk shortly after I get up and then again at sundown. In the morning there are grasshoppers, ladybugs, crickets, beetles, and birds, in the evening there are bats and bunnies. The bats narrowly miss my head while diving for insects. They look like large black butterflies silhouetted against the darkening indigo sky. My eyes strain to see the path ahead, I can barely make out the bunnies and inadvertently startle them, their white puffs of tail bouncing away in fright. I chuckle to myself, they’re so cute.

I listen to audiobooks at 2 times speed with the volume low enough so I can hear the birdsong and cricket chirps. In the morning I trip over the grasshoppers that litter the path, I grin with delight at their sizzling and flashiness. They have brightly colored wings here unlike the earthy tones of Louisiana ones. What a treat!

I trudge to the top of the hill, the grass is getting long. lush and it swishes with the wind. I can see the tiny downtown Denver skyline in the distance ahead and to the right, there are several other cityscapes as well. And to my left are the foothills and I can see the freeway snaking until it disappears into other faraway hills meeting the sky. Directly below to the left is the shopping center, cars are lined up at the McDonald’s drive-thru, I smell french fries.

The meadow is dotted with wildflowers, bright pops of color in a sea of patchy vivid greens. I adore it when a bird perches on a lone tall dry weedy shoot, a thistle stalk maybe, and sings its heart out. I get awestruck when a cloud casts a shadow that flows swiftly over the meadow, I imagine it’s cast from Mothra and Godzilla will be emerging from behind the hill at any moment, lol.

I saw the deer again at sunset, they were dark shadows grazing quietly. I feel such reverence for all of this life and beauty at my feet. How did I get so lucky? I am full of gratitude and a deep peacefulness sinks within me as I am on the final leg of the walk. Everything is perfect in that moment. I want for nothing else.

I de-mask, change into my big grey T-shirt, it was originally Drue’s, it says Panama City in faded navy letters and then slip on lounge pants, my new uniform, lol. I make peppermint tea, open the laptop, and wait for the words to appear. I want to write about something that’s valuable to others, but that doesn’t always happen, and I decide that I can write about whatever. It’s a good practice. I’m 5 months into this challenge of blogging every day. I’m not a professional, I don’t have a lot of writing experience, so I’m not gonna have stellar content on the daily. It’s okay. I feel good that I’m keeping it up.

Tomorrow’s our anniversary and Drue’s birthday, that’s why I wanted the Beyond Burgers for our special meal tomorrow. I’m also gonna make a cookie cake for him. We’re gonna work on the seals in space puzzle that’s been sitting here unfinished for I don’t know how many months, lol. maybe we’ll watch a movie too. I looked to see if they had a Nintendo switch on the off chance they might have one at the store today, but they only had the lite ones. I like to play Mario Kart because I beat him before, lol.

I had a lovely day interspersed with clouds of sadness and resignation. I am so thankful for how our life is shaping up. I wish everyone had such good fortune.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

Comments are closed.