Adore Cherish Love

Instead of being frustrated and resistant to my physical limitations, I’ve learned to work with them. If I have the luxury of taking it easier, I do. I’ve learned to honor what my body communicates to me and behave myself, or else my body protests more furiously with future ailments.

I’m so thankful I’ve been able to stay home to restore and rejuvenate. Today I rested more than I have been. I’m listening to my body and being gentle and kind to it when it yelps at me for help. I spent the day following what my body and intuition signaled was nurturing for me. I have a tendency to try to squeeze every last drop out of a day, lol. Today I meandered, taking lots of breaks in between activities.

I’ve been following a variable routine with sets of activities, staggering them, so I have variety and get something accomplished on them at least every few days. I haven’t been taking days off though and today I wanted to shift my energy. So I decluttered and reorganized and vacuumed.

I was looking for a little pocket Ungame (that we never played) I thought I’d brought with us when we moved, but maybe I gave it away. I can’t remember. I didn’t find it, but I found some old letters that I didn’t realize I still had. Wow. I glanced through them and didn’t have the heart or emotional energy to read them, except for one.

Some were letters sent to me by my littlest brother who’s now deceased. I read one of them from when he was around 6 years old. His mom had taken dictation from him and written it. He drew tiny houses on the envelope and scrawled his name. You know that cute kindergarten style. Tender tears welled up as my heart swelled from the memories flooding me. I smiled, sighed as I read, then gingerly slipped the letter back in the yellowed envelope, and rechecked the postmark, April 1985.

There were greeting cards, photos, postcards, airmail envelopes, and letters from my grandmothers, aunts, and cousins whom I idolize. I even found some letters from a college classmate who was from Japan. I’ve often thought about her. Now I might look her up and see how she’s doing. It was a time capsule I didn’t know I had. I arranged everything neatly, saved for later when my heart wants to cherish the past.

I found two adorable little stuffed creatures that the kids made one “I’m bored” summer. I giddily placed them on my cardboard box bedside table and I rearranged the items I have in the corner. Books, and art supplies. More cheer, anything that reminds me of the kids makes it feel more like home.

I’m so thankful we have a vacuum. The carpet is so nice afterward, with no wayward hairs wrapping around the tootsies. Having long hair is easy to care for, but it’s more noticeable as it sheds. I feel like I’m a human pet and molting. Ewww, lol.

I’m noticing that it takes longer to perform activities of daily living than I estimate. Chores, grooming, cooking, shopping, eating, and toileting takes time. Sometimes when I wonder where the day went, it’s because I was catching up on mundane maintenance activities. I forget to factor them in. I’m making peace with it though. I’m getting better at feeling satisfied with whatever I’ve accomplished in a day. I’m also savoring life more. I feel so fortunate and pause to feel grateful and fully appreciate it.

I did something fun for a treat. I’d bought some bunny cookie treats and there was a free offer on the back of the psychedelic box. I went to the website and input the UPC and my information and chose a free sticker! This week, I got it in the mail. I felt like when I was little and would order those x-ray vision glasses from the backs of magazines. I got a prize in the mail and I’m a grown-up lol. The sticker says Somebunny Loves Me and it’s a rainbow heart in a purple circle with a white bunny in the middle, tail side. So fun and cute! I wanted to get some of the other stickers, but didn’t want to be greedy. Also, it’s the pandemic, so I probably shouldn’t be using the mail too much.

I stayed inside today, no walk, no balcony except to water the plants. I wonder if it’s my allergies getting to me? I don’t think so, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to stay indoors for today. Plus on the weekend the neighbor downstairs is noisy, so the balcony is too, lol. I got to Skype with the kids, yay! They’re doing well and I’m happy about that. I’m so grateful for technology every time. I also attended a video meeting with beautiful friends in the CGC book club. We discussed Bee Season by Myla Goldberg, a stunning, phenomenal, masterful novel. I thoroughly enjoyed it! I feel so spoiled being able to do these wonderful things with this free time I have. Even if my body is poopy, I can use my mind and do low-key things, so thankful.

I also got to FaceTime with a best friend who is really a brother to me and it was so wonderful! I’ve been missing him and am so happy he and his family are doing well too. Today was a connecting with loved ones and nesting kind of day. Lovely. I made little progress on my projects, but my heart is full, my body is comforted, and my spirit is at peace. Finding grace in everyday things and the people I adore, cherish, and love. Beautiful!