Boss of Me

The Logical Heart Knows Best

You’d think with all of this free time I would be getting loads of things accomplished. I am, but it’s bit by bit, I make progress on some projects and activities, then I need to take a break. I have to vary my routine and take time off. It’s like I’m my own boss and have to manage myself wisely.

I try to be methodical and disciplined, but I can’t sustain it at all times, I have to pace myself. When you’re at a job, you’re in a controlled environment where your choices are limited and you have set tasks and time limits, everything is structured for you. The refrigerator, bed, and Netflix aren’t taunting you, lol.

The projects I’m working on require a lot of writing and focused mental work, so it’s a lot of sitting. I have to get up and move around, I get tired and need to shake it up, so I do other activities in between. Sometimes it’s hard to get back into the groove of whatever I’d been working on, so I move on to another project, do chores or go for a walk. If I need my brain to relax I’ll watch something, I’m enjoying Anne with an E.

There are other activities I’d like to add like making videos, but I want to finish some other projects first. I have to limit my explorations so I won’t get overburdened. I’m learning some helpful practices from Refuse to Choose, a book we’re reading in the CGC Book Club. It’s all about scanners, people who love learning and exploring a wide variety of activities and things they’re curious about. It’s for people who are like jacks of all trades or renaissance type people.

Being your own boss has a learning curve in addition to progressing on your projects you have to know how to prioritize, balance, and manage your time and energy. You have freedom and flexibility, but there has to be some structure and boundaries too. That takes some trial and error, I’m still in that phase. I will have to set my own deadlines or else I could stretch out projects indefinitely.

That’s when it helps to have accountability partners or to make public announcements so there’s social pressure to keep you on your toes. When I make proclamations about what I plan to do, I’m more likely to accomplish what I say I will. It’s out there in writing for all to see and I’d like to live up to it if I’m able. It’s also helpful if you’re a member of a group that’s working on challenges together where you can cheer each other on.

I’m looking at my quarterly goals on the wall next to me and I’ve made progress on each of them, but have not accomplished them totally yet. It helps to see them every day so I can prioritize what I do. It’s simple and effective.

I’m shifting my mindset to one of time abundance. I find myself getting fearful about wasting this time and not going fast enough which causes me anxiety and a false sense of pressure. This has been my default mode over the years because I did have time constraints. When we talk about our money situation, unemployment, etc. I begin to spiral into a panic, which is from the habit of worry I’ve had the past ten years. I start thinking I need to hurry up and figure out how to make money from my own business because our current situation won’t last forever. And this doesn’t help me but makes it harder to be creative. I drop the fearful thoughts and tell myself all in good time, just enjoy it while it lasts, I’ll figure it out, it’ll be fine.

Thankfully I felt much better today. I think the unhealthy air quality got me yesterday. I went for a walk early in the day, the air was clean and crisp, the sun bright, breezy, and beautiful. Upon the hill, there’s a little circle of dirt with a large rock and people have stacked smaller rocks, maybe kids, it made me smile. I grinned and laughed as I spied the large fly sunbathing on top of one of the stacks, so cute! As I walked through the complex to my staircase a large group of swallows was circling above the parking lot, I stopped to watch and a little boy zoomed past on his scooter and shouted at me with excitement, “Look at them all!” So sweet!

I’ve been wanting to make chocolate avocado pudding for years and finally did today, omg, it was so yummy! I had whipped up some coconut cream this week and had it together, it was so indulgent and delicious, like in a fancy restaurant.

I set up my Kaiser Permanente insurance account and tried to make an appointment online, but they aren’t accepting any. I will have to call them tomorrow to see if they’re seeing patients for check-ups at this time. Seeing a doctor for a check-up is one of my quarterly goals.

I played music from my phone through my little bluetooth speaker today and danced for fun, listened to Owl City for a few songs. I went into the bedroom, opened the blinds a little for more light so I could dance while looking at my vision board, lmao! I loved it! Will do that more often, heh.

Nice, I’m finishing blogging early enough so I can get a hot bath with a book and tea in. I’m living in luxury these days, it’s simple joys, but man do I appreciate them ever so much!

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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