Oblivious

I’m attempting to write an opinion essay for lesson three from One Year to a Writing Life, then next is a travel essay. Maybe I will try the travel essay first. I’m working on the second draft of the opinion essay and it’s difficult because I don’t want to be harsh, but I have strong views.

I’ll write an opinion essay here, for practice.

At the root of all that ails us is entitlement and narcissism. The kyriarchy is a systemic tier where those who can get away with abusing, exploiting, and oppressing others will and do. Anything to preserve their egos, power, and control. The narcissist believes they are omnipotent and omniscient. Others are beneath them, are theirs to use and need to be kept in their places, under control.

Others are not equals, but pawns and property to be used and manipulated to benefit the narcissist according to their arbitrary rules. The narcissist will use religion and socially sanctioned norms to defend their abuses. They’ll team up and form posses to enforce their rule. They twist everything in their heads until they feel they’re justified and tell whatever lies to get their flying monkeys to help them prevail.

Everything revolves around them receiving everything that they believe they’re entitled and accustomed to. They need to avoid shame and save face at all costs. Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, entitlement, exploitation of others, self-righteousness, lack of empathy, and arrogance. They believe they have the right to enforce their rules by whatever means and excuse their violent acts as rages of passion or moral, righteous justice, punishment for disobedience, for not bowing down in subservience, for violating their expectations, for not conforming or by simply existing, they find you offensive. We are there to benefit them and if we don’t do as we’re told then they’ll do what they want to us and whatever they can get away with for their own satisfaction using punishment, retribution, torture, revenge, and death.

They get to play God. And they’ve continued to get away with it. Now there may be some reckoning?

I hope it doesn’t end here. I hope there is a lasting change after we emerge from all of this. The narcissists need to be called to justice. How can we continue condoning these abuses?

All of the non-narcissistic white men, I’m calling upon you. It’s my opinion that unless y’all step up, the changes will not stick. How do you know that you’re not narcissistic? Well, hate to say it, but you probably have implicit biases that influence your behavior in ways that you are completely unaware of. We all do. The difference though is white males have privilege and power, our society is biased towards benefitting them. So how can y’all help?

Number one, educate yourselves and adjust your behaviors accordingly. I hear, “I’m not the problem, I’m not biased, I treat everyone equally and with respect.” Um, nah, you don’t, you’re just not conscious of it because you haven’t had to be because it hasn’t directly affected you, you’re oblivious to it. And probably you’ve been called out before but didn’t take it seriously, like when your girlfriend keeps asking you to help out more around the house, but you don’t. That’s an example of bias and privilege. You think that it’s not your responsibility for some reason? Maybe because you’re a man? Oh you can say it’s because you’re lazy, or it’s not a big deal, but remember how bent you got when your roomie didn’t do the dishes when it was his turn? And what about all that “locker room” talk and mansplaining, manspreading, the I always have to be the center of attention attitude, not cool.

I thought this was an interesting read…

All of the double standards. That’s just the sexism, misogynistic aspects, the insidious predatory nature of our obsession with beauty, youth, and sex. A whole other opinion essay for me to write, lol.

There’s the whole life or death issue of racism. I can’t believe the incredible arguments the narcissists come up with to defend and justify the discrimination, injustices, and atrocities. When confronted they turn it around and act like they’re being treated unjustly. What a mind eff.

The people who have the most power and who are appalled by what’s happening need to help create change, it will take all of us for a permanent change to take root.

The first step is to take a closer look at your perspectives, attitudes, and behaviors. Investigate, have conversations with your friends and loved ones about gender and racial disparities. Be brave and honorable, ask your partner if you’re doing your part in the relationship, are you behaving in a responsible, egalitarian way where your relationship is interdependent and bringing out the best for your partner as well as you. Have a discussion about race with a friend who’s of another race. Be open, curious, and self-reflective. Put yourself in the other’s shoes more often.

We all need to work at being better humans. How is anything ever gonna change for the better if we don’t? People with the most privilege and power can have the most impact and have the most resources to be able to help. It’s more likely that they will have greater safety and be afforded respect when standing up and speaking out.

If you’re having extra time during the pandemic why not invest some of it into exploring why you’re here, your purpose, ways to find deeper meaning, and serve the greater good in your life. Develop character and integrity so you can make a difference while you’re here. Or you can play video games, eat Cheetos and watch The Bachelor, lmao. It’s ‘Merica, you can be all that you can be, lol.

Love and hugs 💗

Michelle Miyagi
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