Live Well

Some days I don’t even want to think about anything. I don’t want to consider what’s happening in the world. I want to escape, fantasize, and retreat from the world by distracting myself and focusing on what brings me pleasure or joy. I need to disconnect, I need a break. It’s too disappointing and disheartening. To carry on, I need to surround myself with uplifting, life-affirming information, and experiences.

I immerse myself in my personal goals. I connect with people who are intelligent, ethical, aware, responsible, who are well informed, well rounded, and care about making a positive impact in the world, who care about our planet and the well being of all life. I try not to dwell on the people who are ignorant, irresponsible, foolish, or malicious. It’s hard some days though, it’s heartbreaking and frustrating. I have to let go and concentrate on what I’m doing with my life, I can’t afford to waste my energy feeling disheartened. I accept that there are all kinds of fools and I can’t do anything about it. I don’t have to put up with them in my personal space though and don’t.

I read the news today and had to stop because it was getting to me. The same stupidity, rinse, repeat. Time to retreat and take care of my psyche, lol.

I worked on my quarterly goals, yay! Then we watched Face Off a John Woo action movie from 1997, what a fun movie! I laughed, gasped, and whoa’d throughout. I’d watched it when it was released to video back then but had largely forgotten much of it so it wasn’t spoiled for me. Nicolas Cage always cracks me up! Now I want to rewatch Vampire’s Kiss.

Then blog time. I try to think of something worthwhile to write about, I begin typing a paragraph, then delete it, try another topic, write a few sentences, delete until something catches. Some things I begin to write feel too draining and so I try again until it feels doable.

Every day I take stock of the world and of life. I consider what I want the rest of my days to be filled with and how to accomplish that in this world. I also explore ideas about how I can possibly make a positive difference. How can I translate what I’ve learned, use my skills, and my creativity in a beneficial way? I keep searching. Some days I wonder if it’s enough to simply live a joyful life doing whatever you want, just doing things that please you. Would I be okay with that? If I pursued hobbies and did things to pass the time. What constitutes a life well lived? Only I can decide that for me, just as it is for anyone else. We are free to choose what we do with our lives.

Time keeps passing by. Am I closer to what I’m searching for? Absolutely, yes. The world is in deep doo-doo, but my life has improved exponentially. It’s a paradox. I can’t figure out how it all works, but whatever I’ve been doing has been working, so I’ll keep experimenting and listening to my logical heart, it’s steering me in the right direction. I have to keep letting go of what’s no longer working, be courageous, and try new things. Most of all I have to be honest with myself and stop tolerating people, places, and things that aren’t healthy for me. I need to keep choosing what’s best for me for my life to stay peaceful and joyful.

For example, I had to get over my fears and make the changes that would allow me to leave nursing. It was a process that took moving to a state with more opportunities, going through bankruptcy, moving to a cheaper apartment, then trying multiple jobs and quitting the ones that weren’t a fit. Now miraculously I am able to freely explore the next steps to building my own business. Working on a business plan will be an area of focus along with achieving optimal health for this next quarter. My health has been my main sticking point, this next quarter I will try everything I can to get better. I want to be well, I want to be able to run and frolic again. So I will be enlisting the help of others since I haven’t been able to achieve health on my own. I can afford to try now.

I want to set an example that it’s imperative to make yourself a priority in your life. We each have more agency over our lives than we realize. It can be scary and difficult, but we can break free and do what’s best for ourselves in ways that also help others too. It’s not selfish to take care of ourselves first.

We don’t have to be the ones out of balance and being overly giving and overly responsible and caretaking of others all the time. We need to set boundaries that allow us to maintain our health and sanity equally in relation to everyone else. We can become conscious of our implicit biases and social conditioning so we can stand up for ourselves and make changes to be loving of ourselves. We do have the power and there are safe ways to get to that joyful, peaceful, beautiful, loving, nurturing life we all crave. There are always people at the ready to help us, we only need to reach out and ask.

Looking forward to being healthy, energetic, and creating positive ripples in the world.

Love and hugs

Michelle Miyagi
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