Striking a Balance

The Logical Heart Knows Best

It’s been months now, and we’re still in limbo. People who could not pay rent will soon face evictions. Those who are furloughed and job attached will soon have to begin job hunting in order to continue to receive unemployment. We still have so many unanswered questions about the virus. Many of those who had the virus are looking at long recoveries, even those who had milder forms like me. Long haulers cannot work at the same level of functioning as previously or may not be able to work at all. There will be fewer jobs available and many businesses are struggling to remain open at diminished capacity or have already closed. And the pandemic is still surging. More wait and see time for us.

I’m so thankful we are making it, but I feel for all those who are not as fortunate. To be evicted in these uncertain times sounds like a nightmare. It’s hard to fathom doing that to someone during a global disaster like this. Are they really going to be able to rent the place anyhow? Maybe, but you’d think that people are less mobile and less likely to move right now? I’m glad I’m not a landlord, I couldn’t do it.

I was looking on Indeed at the jobs available. It was slim pickings. So what happens if you start a new job and the old job that furloughed you calls you back? I guess you could pick which job you liked better.

I will not stress about it. I will donate to good causes and continue to work on gaining knowledge and skills so I can weather whatever comes and also help others too.

I went grocery shopping tonight. People are not socially distancing anymore. I don’t understand, lol. And the people who don’t wear masks? It’s so strange that they don’t care? I wonder if they get sick. Will it knock some sense into them or will they still be delusional and in denial?

It’s been what, almost four months? We’ve got at least another year to go? How are people gonna make it? They can’t even stay disciplined enough to keep following precautions as it is, or they don’t follow them at all. We’re all gonna die, lmao!

Oh well. Whatever. I’ll do what I can in my part of the world and call it a day.

I returned the library books I’ve had checked out since before the pandemic hit. That felt good. The sign at the drive-thru drop-off slot said that they quarantine the books for three days, so they’ll stay checked out in our account until then, so I better renew them because they’re due tomorrow. I also voted, dropped my ballot in the box. I grouped all of my errands together so I’d only have to go out once this week. I’m conserving my energy that way.

I’ve adjusted to this low-key life and don’t want to go back to the grind, and won’t. I’m determined to never go back to that. This feels too right, so peaceful, and joyful. I will not give it up. You’ll have to pry it away from my cold, dead hands, lol. I love this simpler life.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all lived more simply if we never went back to that overly busy desperate way of living? What if there’s more than enough to go around if we stop chasing excess? How does it all really work? I see people being taken advantage of by being paid such low wages with the cost of housing so high they have to work constant overtime and multiple jobs and barely get by. The profits go to the ones on top. Would it hurt to share the wealth in a more balanced way? Either raise wages or lower the cost of housing, or something else? Why does it have to be so hard for some and not others? Couldn’t we strike a balance somehow? Is there a way to fix it? But we’d have to get cooperation from the ones who profit the most and why would they want to? They’re doing fine, lol.

These are my concerns that float around in my head periodically and I wish I could snap my fingers and have everyone taken care of and happy.

It will be such a relief when we make it through to the other side of this, but we’ve got months and months to go. I will be anxiously wanting the best for all while simultaneously letting go of all the things that are beyond my control. Take a deep breath and release it all. Then send out my love and hope for the best.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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