Bratty Time

The Logical Heart Knows Best

Well, I had a dismal video doctor’s appointment today. And that’s why I tend to avoid them unless absolutely necessary. I will get labs done tomorrow and then go from there. I’m trying though and that’s what counts?

I’m a member of an MdDS support group on Facebook and got recommendations for specialists in this area. I will try to set up an appointment with one of those and maybe it’ll restore my faith in the medical profession, lol. Now I need to research if I need a referral and what hoops I need to jump through. I abhor navigating the insurance and medical system. Here I go though! Yay me!

After I try this then I’ll know I’ve done all I can, it’ll feel good, I’ll have resolution and will be able to accept my fate.

For the next seven days, I’m gonna try intermittent fasting as an experiment. I read an article about a person who only eats during a 4-hour window each day. I can try that. I’m not working now so I don’t have to be functioning at an optimal level. Since I’m limiting my activity I need to decrease my intake.

I got a late start blogging due to researching doctors and such. It’s difficult communicating with doctors, what you say doesn’t fully get across to them, or they have preconceived biases and it blocks them from hearing you. Especially if you’re a woman, people don’t take you seriously, they frame it as being all in your head, hypochondria, or anxiety. And doctors can’t know about every single ailment, especially rare ones, or new ones like COVID-19 but they still act like they do know it all, and will prescribe inappropriate treatments or none at all because it’s all in your head. I’ve witnessed this while I was a nurse. No one believed her complaints and she ended up suffering until they finally got a specialist in to see her, he did an exploratory and she truly was really sick and ended up dying within a few days. The nurses had finally convinced the doctors to consult the specialist, but it was too damn late.

Yeah, I’m not a good patient, lol. I’ll do this though and be done. After this the only time I’ll be visiting a medical professional will be for dire emergencies.

Enough of my whining, lol. I’m just getting old and I don’t like it. It’s no fun. If I could win the lottery, I think I would retreat into my own little world and it wouldn’t matter how blah I felt. I could afford to take it easy and take time to heal, or if I didn’t heal, I wouldn’t have to worry about making an income. That’s what I worry about. How will I be able to heal and also make enough money? Maybe there’s really nothing that will help me. I begin doubting myself and don’t know which way to go or what to do. I hang on until the next day and keep trying. I have this blog that I’ve committed to and it helps me keep focused on what’s important to me.

So tomorrow I will type up my daily routine list for this quarter and will begin working on building a business in earnest. I feel a bit fired up, fed up so maybe that will give me an edge. I really want to resume my walks. I downloaded the Randonautica app and want to go on an adventure. I’m at the point where I don’t care anymore about the consequences. If I have symptom flare-ups, so be it. I’m so tired of this. I guess that’s how people who don’t wear masks or adhere to social distancing or travel restrictions feel, except they’re risking others as well. For me it’s just risking discomfort for myself so that’s different, I’m not hurting anyone else.

So yay! I’m making progress, finally seeing a doctor and it’s frustrating as hell, lol. Woot woot! I’m allowed to be bratty sometimes, heh. Feeling hella bratty here! Don’t mind me 🙂

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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