Naughty Humans and Spoons

The Logical Heart Knows Best

I awakened to mechanical grinding and buzzing sounds like sawing metal. Oh yeah, they’re making adjustments to the pool gate because tenants weren’t following the pandemic scheduling and were swimming after hours, so I guess they’re putting a mechanism in place to prevent it. You could just reach over and manually open the gate from the other side if you were tall enough. I peered out the window and the area was roped off with bright yellow tape. Naughty pandemic rule breakers. I have no desire to risk going for a swim with others, no thanks, not worth it. I can wait until we’ve got all of this more mapped out and under more control. There are still too many unknowns.

Every day is beautiful here, it’s so sunny most days, all year, I love it. Today was an inside low key activity kinda day. I cooked brown rice, a pot of red beans, a quesadilla for Drue, I made chocolate avocado pudding, and baked some potatoes. After I blog, I’m gonna make sugar cookies for Drue. In between I read, meditated, listened to audiobooks, journaled, began reading the tutorial for Scrivener, and watched some of the Udemy WordPress course. I completed Refuse to Choose, can tick another book off on my Goodreads reading challenge. I also looked at houses on Zillow and read some news.

I wanted to do more writing on other projects, but my brain was mushy, that’s why I decided to cook. I also enjoyed watering the plants and got around to planting the last two portulaca stragglers. The wildflower seedlings are stretching and getting fatter. I was excited to see that some cantaloupe seeds I saved and planted had sprouted, so cute! I saved some bell pepper, lemon, lime seeds, plum pits, and planted them today. I listened to The 4 Hour Work Week and Atomic Habits. There are so many books I want to read and listen to, it’s like I can’t consume them quickly enough. I loved it when I could go on long walks and be able to listen to large portions of books. Next week I get to try that again, yay!

In one of the Facebook support groups I’m in they posted something about spoons to illustrate how to plan and conserve your energy. You start out with a finite number of spoons that represent the energy allotment you have for the day. with each activity, you use up your spoons and when they run out, you have no choice but to rest until your spoons get replenished again. I’ve had to pace myself and make adjustments over the past five years, but over the past four months, I’ve really had to adjust. Today I wondered why I was so worn out, spaced out, bleary, and flat. It was because I ran errands yesterday, so I paid for it today. Instead of pushing myself and getting frustrated, I knew better, I’m learning what works now and it’s getting easier. So I had a more peaceful time coping with it today. It will take me longer to complete my goals, but at least I will eventually accomplish them. I am grateful for the spoons I have. Oh, and “There is no spoon” lol.

I’m concerned about the efforts to return to normal when the virus is not under control. I worry about the children going back to school. I’m so glad the kids are grown and I’m not having to navigate that. I feel for all of the parents who are juggling so much change and uncertainty. It’s challenging enough to raise a family these days. Our social structure does not cater to families anymore. In generations before us, there would be extended family members to help and we didn’t need to have two incomes to afford a family either. If I were a young person today, I probably would opt out of having kids.

I’m thankful that I’m at a stage in my life where I’ve experienced so much and don’t feel like I’m missing out right now. I know that younger people are having a more challenging time of it. All that youth and energy, bursting to explore and have fun, to meet others, make new friends, and play. I guess all of the technology that connects us is helpful to a degree, but there’s no substitute for in-person intimacy and togetherness. It’s gotta be so hard for some people to be socially distanced like this. I guess that’s why people can’t adhere to rules (hence the pool gate adjustments) because we’re human. We’re a bit naughty sometimes, lol.

Well, got my blog post in for today. Now I’m gonna do my short workouts and bake cookies! Yay! 😀

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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