Not a Robot

Yesterday Drue saw me doing my PT exercises for the first time and told me I looked like a malfunctioning robot, lmao! We had a good laugh while joking some more about it. I said the secret’s out, I finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a robot and I was recalibrating, not malfunctioning, lol. I do the exercises 5 times a day, but was having trouble keeping count so I got 5 Pokemon cards and move one from my desk to the kitchen counter after doing the PT and then I move the stack back to the desk upon completion at the end of the day, ready for the next day.

I’m so thankful to finally be able to treat the MdDS. It’s so frustrating when you have a health problem where there’s no one effective treatment or cure where few practitioners even have knowledge of it. It will take about 3 months before I begin seeing full results though. I hope it works.

I saw the allergist (video appt) this week and was pleased. I feel better already having increased my OTC allergy meds Allegra and Flonase to twice a day, so it’s double the recommended doses. Didn’t know I could do that! How easy. What a relief. I love how I can email any of my doctors with questions and refill meds online, it’s so convenient.

I watched 2 more episodes of Surviving R Kelly. Wow, unbelievable. Similar to Jeffrey Epstein. Yikes. It’s so insane how these predators get away with it for so many years. It’s hard to understand and it’s heartbreaking.

After watching these disturbing documentaries I get emotionally exhausted and end up taking a small nap afterward. I need to have a little reset because I’m not a robot, it affects me. Sometimes I wonder if I have too much empathy. Then I think, no, you can never have too much empathy, just look at what happens when you don’t have empathy. People get hurt while others enable it because they don’t have enough empathy or conscience and turn a blind eye, are not bothered at all, and even encourage it. The lack of empathy contributes to unethical, sociopathic behaviors. Empathy is a superpower. I’m thankful for it. I’m glad I’m not a robot.

There have been countless times when I’ve gone through traumatic experiences and wished I were a robot because the emotional pain can be overwhelming. But our emotions are what help us know where the truth lies. When we cut ourselves off from them we lose our most valuable guidance system and we lose our capacity to fully love, care, and deeply engage with life. We lose our ability to understand ourselves and others. We become desensitized and live a life that pales in comparison. We are unable to access the highs and lows that add depth and vibrancy to our experiences. We are unable to fully visualize and imagine how another might feel, or how to have hope for a better future.

Our emotions lead to a more inspired life where we tap into possibilities by allowing ourselves to feel everything. This serves us by contributing to an honest authentic way of being in this world. Honoring and allowing our feelings to surface and being intelligent and discerning with them can keep us on our truest, most purposeful paths in life. So I’ve learned to value and honor my feelings while using them to bring me closer to the truth in any situation. I’ve learned how to skillfully navigate with my emotions. If more people did the same, then maybe there would be less harm and trauma. We could no longer stay in denial or be able to turn a blind eye.

Empathy leads to less egocentricity, to more caring about what happens to others, to help create winning scenarios for all. I believe empathy needs to be encouraged and nurtured. Instead, we’re taught to be tough, shake it off, to not be such a crybaby, suck it up, who cares, I’ve got mine and that’s all that matters. I don’t want to get involved or put myself at risk by taking a stand. Don’t rock the boat, etc. We walk on by and stigmatize those who are hurting and are in need. We blame the victims because we don’t want to face the truth. It’s hard to comprehend, but it happens again and again. How can people be so cruel and heartless, but here it is happening because we continue to let people get away with it. Empathy keeps us accountable. We need more empathy in this world.

I used to be disconnected, more robotic and that kept me in harm’s way. I can finally be thankful that I’m not a robot. I’m glad I am fully connected to all the feels, lol.

Michelle Miyagi
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