Little Escapes

The Logical Heart Knows Best

I’ve been waiting until dusk to water the plants on the balcony. It’s cool and soothing with the crickets singing, the swallows snuggled in for the night. There’s one little swallow that sleeps on a ledge outside our door, it’s not afraid when we come and go, it sits there eyes half-closed while I tell it how cute it is. I tell every creature the same thing, “Hi, you’re so cute! I love you, I love you, I love you!” A bunny ran across our path as we were lugging in the groceries tonight. I was afraid the bunnies wouldn’t have enough grass to eat after they installed astroturf in some sections here. There are still a few patches of grass left, guess it’s enough.

I’ve been missing my nature walks and the photos I take along the way. I miss seeing all of the landscapes, flowers, trees, mountains critters, clouds, and sky. I’m thankful for my balcony where I can still enjoy outside, but it’s not the same. I wonder if they’ve painted any more rocks, I will have to take a little walk and see. It’s so sweet that people in our complex shared their artistry and good cheer with us. I bet the kids have fun painting them too. It reminds me of the pet rock craze back in the seventies, lol. The silly things we buy and do for fun.

These days my fun is reading, drinking tea, watching the plants grow, and doing robot malfunction PT exercises. Woot woot.

I’m rethinking what I want to do with the rest of my life. Maybe I need to invest in something that is more one-sided, like writing books, or doing paintings, or music. Something that I create that requires minimal interaction with people. Something where I hole up on my own and create, then sell it, to where it’s low maintenance. I’m enjoying being a recluse a little bit too much! When we have our own place with a yard or spot of land, we’ll be set. I’ll be happy to work on my own projects and could easily stay entertained in my own private sanctuary. That’s the dream. Play in my garden and sweet talk the flowers, bees, swallows, bats, and bunnies. Blow bubbles in the sunflowers and moonflowers, my bare feet in the dewy grass, the squirrels skittering in the trees. I look at houses on Zillow most days and fantasize, escapism, yay!

Maybe I’ll be brave enough to resume my nature walks soon. I’m feeling so much better and don’t want to jinx it by overdoing it and relapsing. My last walk was on June 18th. I tried doing gentle yoga/pilates for 15 mins a day in July and I still relapsed with post-viral syndrome symptoms. It’s been 5 and 1/2 months. I’m hoping I’m finally better for good but won’t know unless I try increasing my activity again. We shall see. I’ve learned how to give in and be patient. It’s been humbling and has made me appreciate all the simple things we take for granted even more.

I did more research on sexual abuse today, I read many of the tabs/sites/info I’d looked up and kept open on my laptop, there are still many left to read, long pdfs and research papers. It is an emotionally exhausting subject. But I want to know.

It’s getting late, so this is another short post. I’m still determined to either blog or share a video every day this year. It’ll feel so good come December 31st, lol.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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