Let It Be

The Logical Heart Knows Best

It’s so wonderful to be able to Skype with loved ones. We’ve all decided that we are not going to take the risk of traveling to visit one another until the virus is under control, whenever that happens probably in a year or two? At the rate things are progressing, I’m not optimistic.

I’m so thankful for streaming services, we’ve watched some movies this week, Safety not Guaranteed and Horrible Bosses. I’m a fan of Mark Duplass and Aubrey Plaza who starred in the time travel movie Safety Not Guaranteed. I also like Room 104 by the Duplass brothers. It’s nice to escape into other worlds and stories for a little bit, to laugh at absurdities, like the paintball episodes we just watched in the series called Community. It’s funny how what I watch in the evening often infiltrates my sleeping dreams. After watching the paintball episodes Drue said I was talking in my sleep the next morning, I said, “I’ll kill you m-effer” (except I said the whole word lol) and made a gun noise, lmao. Thankfully I only talk or sing in my sleep and don’t sleepwalk or act anything out in my sleep, omg.

I began watching a documentary called The Keepers this afternoon. After only watching one episode, it’s really inspiring. Forty years later retired people, volunteers are trying to discover what happened to their beloved high school teacher who was murdered, the case is unsolved. They’ve enlisted people to help through forming a group on social media and they’re actually putting pieces of the puzzle together, making more progress than the police.

I have not resumed my nature walks, there are two wildfires in the mountains so the air quality is poor. I go out on the balcony to water my happy plants though, that’s nice. I’ve decided to surrender even further to the quiet, solitude, rest, and serenity. I’m taking my time, staying in the moment, being grateful, enjoying the peace of my cozy apartment, letting the cares of the world dissolve, letting go of what I have no control over. Letting it be.

Nowhere to go, nothing I absolutely have to do, no time constraints, commitments or deadlines, no pressure. I do what I’m called to by listening to that voice from within, my logical heart. I took a glorious early afternoon nap, I thought to myself, go ahead, you can afford to take a nap, it’s fine, so I did. I woke up in time to sit with Drue while he ate before going to work. I ate animal crackers, trying to decipher what creatures they were. I’d get input from Drue, it’s a lion…no…I think it’s a buffalo, then I examine the others and declare they’re all mutants as I dip a Catasaurus’ head into my tea. Why are you dipping them headfirst Drue asks. I reply you know why with an evil grin and add, it makes their meat tender, lol.

I’ve been having to write my blog posts earlier because the internet begins to lose speed after ten pm. Drue called the service, but they couldn’t figure out why and offered to send a technician, we declined, so I blog earlier, easy. For a few posts this week it wouldn’t upload photos due to being slow, so I just added them the next morning. I’m so thankful we have high-speed internet though, I remember those dial-up days, so slow. We’re so spoiled now. I’d like to live in the mountains, but the phone and internet service is dodgy up there. So we’ll be staying in the valley for now.

I’ve been looking for jobs online for my unemployment requirements, it’s slim pickings. I imagine myself in the roles described and so far nothing fits or pays enough. So I keep looking and wonder what I want to be when I grow up, if ever.

So each day passes by and I give thanks for what we have, for our health, for food in our bellies, a roof over our head and for our loved ones’ continued wellbeing, then I think of everyone out there who’s suffering and struggling and send them love, then I let it be.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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