Flat

I watched the DNC speeches today and they got me all choked up like I knew they would. There’s hope for our country after all thank goodness. I had another quiet, peaceful, uneventful day 🙂 I looked for another documentary to watch and saw that tomorrow The Vow NXIVM will be released on HBO, so I’ll be watching that.

I did my unemployment work search activities. The job prospects are bleak. I need to win the lottery, lol. Waves of anxiety rush over me when I look for jobs, read the descriptions, and imagine myself performing the duties.

The air quality is still unhealthy so I haven’t ventured out for a walk again. I do my PT exercises and have a sedentary existence for now. The hand rash, sinus/chest congestion, headaches flared up again, along with increased fatigue since I went for a walk the other day so I will continue to limit my activities. Maybe it will be safe once the congestion and hand rash totally go away, so far they haven’t ever completely cleared up, it’s been almost 6 months. It’s like an ebb and flow depending on my activity level, it’s so strange. And I still have bouts of cold hands, feet, and nose, my feet are the coldest, it’s really weird. At least the brain fog is better. And overall everything is much better and I’m alive so I shouldn’t be complaining. I’ve improved drastically, but it would be nice to be 100 percent well one day soon 🙂

I want to write something interesting and cheery, but my mind isn’t cooperating. I could conjure up some past happy memory and write about that, but nothing grabs me, my energy is flatlined, the weight of all the problems of the world keep intruding. California’s burning, people are still getting sick and dying from the virus, rampant racism, political divisiveness, our failing democracy and we’re still on pause with no end in sight. It’s currently hard to feel inspired and to focus on creativity.

Oh, I know something that had me laughing, reading about WAP and FUPA in a news article on the Apple News app this morning. It was about empowering women to be proud of their bodies, pretty cool. Now I wanna listen to the controversial song about WAP, lol. Oh my, the impropriety, lmao. I just had a watch and a listen to the Cardi B lyric video of it and had a good laugh.

This week has been uneventful, peaceful, nice week with nothing much grabbing me to write about. My days have been like a string of Saturday mornings. You know the kind where you sleep in and laze about watching the dust motes floating on the sunbeams filtering through your kitchen window as you procrastinate on starting your day.

Tomorrow begins a new week. Maybe I can muster up some inspiration and jolt myself from the Saturday morning broken record repetition and land in an inspired, creative, lovely week, that sounds good. Gonna make it so. That’s all for now. We’ll see what tomorrow brings 🙂

Michelle Miyagi
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