Real and True

Today I scrolled through this year’s photos and it was beautiful, so much love and gratitude. I’ll use this trick when I get overwhelmed and lost in negativity, it’s an instant reminder of what’s real and true.

I enjoyed rinsing and chopping all the fruits and veggies for the week this afternoon. I also made a batch of citrus smoothies, some avocado chocolate pudding, and whipped up some coconut cream. I thought of listening to some music or an audiobook while doing it but was loving the quiet and listening to the crispness when I chopped and I wanted to be immersed fully in the sensory experience. The cool water streaming over my hands and the smoothness of the melons, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber, celery, and romaine. The staccato tapping of the knife as I chopped, the sliding into the flesh of the melons separating from the hard rinds. The crunchy snap of the celery as I pulled the stalks apart and the bell pepper seeds sticking to my fingers as I snapped the pith out. I’d sample pieces I trimmed to remove the green streaks left on the cantaloupe sections or white spots from the watermelon wedges where I cut too close to the rind. I moved our little under-the-sink trash can close to me so I could discard the rinds with ease. I fantasized about one day having our own place where I could compost easily.

It was satisfying to line up the fruity veggie-filled containers in the refrigerator along with the decadent pudding and cream desserts stacked on top. The clementine smoothie smelled so sweet and tangy, invigorating. I will have some at breakfast tomorrow.

I sampled the pudding and cream, nom, while watching a Netflix documentary Christiane Amanpour: Sex and Love Around the World, so far I’ve learned about Japan and India. It’s fun and interesting. I’m still doing research 🙂 This documentary is more light-hearted and entertaining than the others I’ve been watching, so that’s good.

I was taking photos of my flowers on the balcony when a hummingbird flew right in front of me and was drinking from my wildflowers! It was amazing! I immediately thought of my dear uncle Michi and my grandmother, (Michi’s mother) who are deceased. The hummingbird was a special spiritual sign. Uncle Michi said that it meant his mom, my grandmother, was nearby and sending love from the ether. Now when I see a hummingbird, I think of them both and smile, feeling extra loved. I am so thankful to have had them grace my life. I love them and miss them so much.

The wildflowers are spilling out through the railings of the balcony and new blossoms greet me every day. What a fun project it’s been and it was so easy and economical. I will do it again next year too! The air quality was slightly better today as well. The fires are still burning, but they’re making progress in putting them out. I have Auburn, Richmond, and Sacramento California on my weather app so I can look at the air quality there too because relatives are there. I also have Baton Rouge and New York on my weather app cuz family and friends are there. I also have other aspirational places I’d like to visit one day on the app for fun. Now it’s praying that hurricane Laura isn’t as bad as predicted.

I’m curious about Melania’s speech and will watch it tomorrow. I’ll pass on the others. It’ll only piss me off, lol. I’ll leave it at that.

It’s so wild how we all have such varying perspectives, beliefs, values, and priorities that we live in different worlds where there’s little overlap of objective reality. So many people are lacking in compassion, empathy, and critical thinking/see the big picture department, many more people than I was aware of until the past several years. And as this year wears on, even more people are joining the bandwagon of conspiracy theory and fear-mongering divide and conquer with more chaos, manipulation, gaslighting, and magical thinking tactics. Maybe it’s because we’re so connected now with social media too, that we get to see what people really believe by what they post. I feel like I’m in a crazy dream some days. Has it always been like this and I’m only just noticing now?

It makes me that much more thankful for the people I know I can count on, who are kind, compassionate, empathetic, aware, who see how everything is connected, who have their hearts in the right place, and who do the right thing consistently, whose actions line up with their words, yeah, you know those people. They are scarce because this world isn’t an easy place and hearts get lost along the way, but you can find them and when you do, keep them close, lol. Cuz there are some bat shit creepers in the mix for sure, oh my, for real. I’ve got my vampire stake ready, lol.

The drama and chaos don’t enliven me or help me with my creativity, instead, it shuts me down. I become disillusioned when it calls. Some days, it feels pointless and insurmountable. But I keep focusing on the positive things to be grateful for and hold out for those whose hearts remain intact and at the ready to band together and make progress in creating a better world. One where we look out for everyone, every time where no one is left behind. And when we see something that’s harmful, we speak up; we help in whatever ways we can. We cast aside our fears; we stop compartmentalizing and intellectualizing and get real, open our eyes to the truth no matter how hard it may be to face. Only when we see clearly can we come up with the correct solutions. Until then, it’s more chaos and drama. I’ve had more than my fill of the crazy-making of this world.

Peace and more of it are what I crave. Peace encompasses it all: love, gratitude, compassion, joy… all the good stuff culminates in peace. When I abide by my logical heart, there is always peace. So I’ll keep listening to its gentle calling, bringing me closer to ever more peace.