Healthy Pace

I’m so thankful we moved to this apartment upstairs because it’s quieter, sunnier, and cozier, a good place to be spending these days at home during this pandemic. I also have more privacy with my balcony perch.

I saw the hummingbird again today, I feel happy that it’s taking sips from the wildflowers I grew. I didn’t bother looking to see if the aphids were nomming on the jalapeno plant again. It’s nice to have nature at my doorstep even if it is naughty aphids, lol.

I need to stop reading the news, it’s getting more absurd the closer we get to the election, omg. I feel like we’re in an episode of the Twilight Zone or something. I predict an alien invasion before the year is up, lol.

I’m so thankful there are plenty of activities to keep me focused on saner things. I have plenty to read, watch and now play with the Nintendo Switch. I can also play guitar, draw, paint, write, learn from online courses, and work on projects if I wanna. I’m grateful for the PT exercises too so I’m moving at regular intervals throughout the day.

Now I can look up anything right when I get curious about something before I forget. I have the time and space to explore my curiosities. The only thing is I have so many tabs up on my laptop, lol. I was reading them today so I could close some of them. I also went down a rabbit hole checking out library audiobooks and saving a list to be checked out later. I also did some training/skills for my unemployment work search activities requirements. Then I watched a movie called Wildlife, it was moving and superbly acted, directed by Paul Dano and also co-written with his partner Zoe Kazan based on a book by Richard Ford. So that’s why their chemistry was so good in Ruby Sparks, they’re a couple.

I feel so taken care of and spoiled, it feels really, really amazing. I feel so at peace in my personal life, there is nothing that feels better than this deep sense of peace and wellbeing. This is the most peaceful, secure, and nurtured I’ve felt in my life. My personal anxieties have melted away over this past month, I feel seamless, and whole, nothing weighing me down, hanging over me, or tugging at me.

Internally I feel so free and relieved, yet my external world has become smaller and more perilous due to the pandemic. I do feel intermittently anxious and concerned about the overall state of the world but keep disengaging and taking breaks so it doesn’t overtake me. It’s paradoxical that there’s so much good happening in my life while there’s so much not so good going on in the world. I finally have the chance to attend to myself and my health because of the pandemic, it’s so funny how tricky and counterintuitive life can be.

I know this won’t last forever though so I need to make progress in creating ways to continue this pace of life in the future, for now, it’s okay to finish taking care of my health. So off I go to do my last set of PT exercises for the day and I’m gonna catch some moths and pick some pears in Animal Crossing, heh.

Michelle Miyagi
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