Slow Roll

It’s funny how when I’m determined to do something that may be inadvisable the universe steps in to slow my roll, like today. I wanted to go for a walk, but the air quality was unhealthy again. I behaved and stayed in. More reading and listening to books, plus PT exercises and fluffing the futon, washing the linens, the dishes, taking a hot bath with Epsom salts. Drinking tea, reading the news, and wishing I hadn’t, poor gulf coast again, and the west coast still battling fires. I try to understand how people don’t believe in factual objective information, but instead believe in lies, propaganda, and conspiracy theories. My brain spins and I give up, it doesn’t make sense.

It creates cognitive dissonance within me because I believe we all are capable of discerning objective facts and scientific truths, but maybe not? Maybe many people actually aren’t capable of it?

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/02/27/why-facts-dont-change-our-minds

I thought this article was interesting too.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/06/theres-no-such-thing-as-free-will/480750/

I try and see other’s viewpoints and put myself in their shoes. I get curious and read some of the things they post and try to find the truth that they see? Eventually, I let go of trying to figure it out, it remains illogical to me and I focus on respecting that everyone has their own beliefs, (it doesn’t matter if it’s true to me, it’s true to them) while hoping things do not get too out of control (as it did with Hitler).

It’s hard to stay optimistic and nonreactive to the harmful, erroneous things people fervently believe when it is affecting their behavior in frightful ways. I keep my distance and don’t try to argue with them because it typically makes it worse. I try to be non-judgemental and not let it affect my view of the total person. When they are believing or behaving in harmful ways it is only a small portion of their totality as a human. I don’t want to make them into an enemy or dehumanize them. I send them love from afar and let the universe take care of the rest.

I liked this article about judgement.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sapient-nature/201105/dont-be-judgmental-be-discerning

I’m less idealistic now and am more realistic in my view of humanity. There are indeed some malicious, sociopathic people. We may be all one in spirit, but in these human forms, we do have to be discerning in order to navigate and survive. It doesn’t matter what a person’s back story or neurobiology is and the reasons why they are being abusive…if they’re violating boundaries and harming then we need to protect ourselves accordingly instead of being nice, making excuses for them all the while we are being abused. We need to have compassion for ourselves first, get ourselves out of harm’s way and then we can send the abusers compassion from afar and hope they seek treatment to correct their abusive ways.

There are many people who are entitled, dominating, coercive, exploitative, and abusive yet they don’t see that they are. They are so biased they can’t see it, after all, they’ve always gotten away with it. If you try and hold them accountable then they accuse you of being persecutory and they act victimized as if you’re taking away their rights when you’re only standing up for yourself, for your rights. It’s bizarre. Brett Kavanaugh comes to mind.

I keep having to take a more spiritual view of what’s happening in the world so I can keep it in perspective and not let my knee jerk responses keep me afraid. If I didn’t practice spirituality/mindfulness I’d be in a panic, my lizard brain might take over. It still does sometimes, but I know how to lasso it back in.

It’s difficult to focus on the future or make plans because everything feels so unsettled and in flux right now, so I’ve taken to one day at a time. I choose to believe that there’s a good chance things will get better in the world eventually and in hindsight, we’ll be able to see the hidden benefits of it all. For now, I feel as if I’m holding my breath expectantly waiting to see what unfolds, hoping for the best.