Self-Compassion

Today was a foggy, overcast, dreary day. It was misting out and brrr, so I didn’t go for a long walk, but instead walked over to the doctor’s office near here and got my flu shot. It was quick, easy, and free. I’m within walking distance of my doctor, so convenient.

The weather made me want to stay under the covers and hibernate, but I managed to wriggle away and get stuff done. Here’s the video I did tonight.

I’ve learned through lots of trying, trial and error, mistakes, failures, practicing, repetition until it sticks, that the best way to ensure my success is to be gentle, loving, forgiving, and compassionate with myself. Being hard on myself, being negative, harsh, and impatient with myself only sabotaged my progress, making everything worse. I still struggle with impatience with myself, but even that stubborn habit is improving.

Now when I’m tempted to fall back on an old, unhealthy habit, it’s easier to talk myself out of it and I’ve put into practice methods that pave the way for more peace, ease, flow, and well-being in my life. I’ve learned my triggers and have made changes in my life that are conducive to drama-free living.

I’ve reprioritized everything towards what is healthiest for me and in alignment with my authentic, truthful values where there is balance, and I keep healthy boundaries that are also compassionate of me. It’s been a journey to get here, and I continue to keep at it because everything’s always in flux, so you have to constantly keep up, keep learning, practicing, and growing.

There’s always gonna be stress in life, but we do have some control over it. We decide what we participate in and who we allow into our lives. We can develop coping skills that allow us to more successfully navigate hardships and stressors, it’s important to learn how to emotionally regulate and take care of our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. All areas of life impact each other, so it’s holistic.

But, it took me a long time to learn that I had choices, that I could end relationships, jobs, friendships, I could choose to not participate in traditions and activities that were draining me and causing stress for what? Because I felt obligated, it was expected of me, I’d feel guilty if I didn’t meet other’s expectations of me? The answer was so simple. I didn’t have to get better at coping and keep doing more and being more. Instead, I could take inventory and minimize and eliminate sources of extra drama and stress in my life. I could reprioritize and simplify until peace, ease, and relief became the norm.

There will always be challenges in life. I didn’t have to make my life more complicated or dramatic in order to grow, in fact, the extra drama was holding me back and causing misery. I understand that adversity builds character, but why put up with adversity that is harming you, it doesn’t make sense to make life more traumatic and difficult or to remain in unhealthy, dysfunctional, abusive situations.

We don’t have to be masochists in order to build our characters and get stronger. I don’t believe we need to toughen up, I don’t believe it’s enabling if we help each other create a more supportive, nurturing world by cooperating, and being kind, loving, helpful, and compassionate with one another. We need more compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. So I decided to give it to myself, all of the nurturing, support, kindness, compassion, and understanding. I gave myself permission to do what was right for me and it worked.

We can make choices that will free us. We can choose to stop doing what’s bringing us down. Now when life begins to get overly complicated, the drama creeps back in and misery comes to visit I look for what will bring me freedom and relief. Then I start making the changes that I know will eventually set me free again. I tune into my inner truth, my logical heart and it gently leads the way. It’s up to me to keep recalibrating towards the highest love, joy and peace. We all have this power from within.

Michelle Miyagi
%d bloggers like this: