Don’t Take the Bait

Whoa, it got cold today! Being from Louisiana this feels like winter to me 🙂 We had a hard freeze so au revoir balcony garden until the spring when we meet again. I ate 2 of the jalapenos with my supper tonight. The plant made a total of 4 jalapenos, those hungry hungry aphids limited my harvest, lol.

It was grey and dreary so I stayed in. I switched around my activities today so everything is completed except for blogging, yay! Here’s the video I did tonight.

I was fiddling around with my YouTube channel the other day and found some old comments I hadn’t seen yet. I filter the comments because there are so many hater trolls on the prowl and I prefer to delete them. Sure enough, there was one of those and another rather lovely comment, plus people spamming.

It puzzles me how people waste their energy on spreading negativity when they could be using their energy in more positive, productive activities. It seems so futile and wasteful to me. Why do that? Why tear people down? I just don’t get it. How miserable they must be? Yeah, I don’t want people who behave like that in my space. Delete, delete, delete.

I feel for the younger people of today who are subjected to that negativity and vitriol. They have to deal with people who feel free to bully from behind a screen. It’s so difficult when you’re seeking your individuality and forming your identity, trying to fit in and be accepted while traversing the troll-infested habitat of the online world in addition to real life.

I have to admit it does sting initially when someone says or does something cruel, uncalled for, and mean. It’s human to have reactions and feelings that bubble up unbidden. Thankfully we can pause, reflect, then choose how we think about how we’re feeling and reframe what’s happening in an empowering way.

For example, someone offers their unsolicited opinion and criticizes your appearance or says whatever you did sucks, do you believe them? Do you take it personally? Do you respond? Who are they to you? Are they close friends, family, strangers? Do you care what they think? Should you?

I think we all have self-awareness and can gauge whether someone is trying to be helpful to us or if they are being assholes. There are ways you can give constructive criticism that is respectful and supportive. Even then I would only accept it from someone I know and whom I admire, respect, and trust.

All of these other clowns? Ignore, don’t believe it, don’t care, delete. I don’t need that added negative drama and chaos in my life. Why would I bother to care what they think? I have a choice. I can do what is most loving of me and shake the hate off.

They have no power over me unless I give it to them, so I don’t participate. I don’t play their games.

When I was younger I did take it to heart, especially if the negativity was from people I was close to and couldn’t get away from. I developed anxiety, shame, low self-worth, self-hatred, suicidal ideation, and body image issues/eating disorders in response to the belittling, harsh judgment, criticisms, shaming, punishment, and abuse. Luckily I was accepted by my peers, but I still cared a lot about fitting in and conforming to what I believed was expected of me. So the external world had a powerful hold on me.

As I grew older I eventually began feeling better about myself, but it took many years of struggle and I actually did not make real significant progress until I had children. Having that experience of caring for a wee little human, I could see that I was just as precious as my children were, that we all are. My perspective of myself and the whole world shifted. I began paying attention to my internal world and the spiritual/energetic way of seeing things. I began to heal. I sought out information and help to change my habitual thoughts, to ease my anxiety, and to establish healthier boundaries. And I began taking care of myself in a way I did not know how to before.

I discovered that I had the most power in my life through my internal spiritual-energetic ways of being. I could be mindful and choose what I allowed to take priority in my mind. I could shift to more healthy loving ways of thinking, being, speaking, and acting. Once I did that I also became aware of what was negative in my life and causing trouble. I developed healthy boundaries so that others and the external world could no longer pull my strings so easily.

I discovered that what mattered most was what I was doing on the inside. My inner experience is what controls my quality of life. Everything gets filtered and interpreted from within me, so I can choose what I let in, what I allow to influence me. Of course, I will have reactions and feelings that are unwelcome, but that is normal and okay. What matters is how I process them and cope. So with practice, we can all have a more optimal experience of life by having a good relationship with ourselves and our inner workings.

If we give our power away by caring too much about what others think of us we will never have peace. Peace increases the quality of our lives and for me, it is one of my highest priorities. Peace brings relief, ease, lightness, and joy.

The haters… well I don’t take the bait anymore. There are always going to be people who disapprove of and don’t like me or what I’m doing. Dominating coercive, manipulative people who feel like they have the right to exert power and control over me. I’m not gonna let that stop me. I have just as much of a right to be here and express myself as anyone else and live my life as I see fit.

I will be unapologetically me, flying monkeys be damned. I’ve already spent too much of my life trying to bend over backward to have love, acceptance, and peace. The problem wasn’t totally me, it was the toxic environment and my lack of knowledge and awareness. Once I became aware, I could then educate myself and then eliminate the toxicity in my life and I’ve been getting more adept with each passing year. I’m so thankful. My hopes are that others will also become aware through what I share here and do the same for themselves!

Michelle Miyagi
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