Slippery

Winter’s coming, the wind is howling, it’s gonna fall into the single digits and snow. I hope it helps put the fires out. I pruned the frostbitten plants on the balcony and made a small grocery run because we won’t wanna go out while the snow is heavy. I went to the small store nearest here to avoid the crowds at the more popular places because everyone else stocks up before the snow too. I’m gonna cozy up with some hot cocoa and Animal Crossing tomorrow. I’m still fascinated by the snow, I’m not used to it yet. I get excited to watch it.

I was surprised to be achy last night, it felt like when you have a fever, your bones and joints hurt, then I remembered I’d had the flu shot the day before. Today I feel fine.

It was nice to be out amongst people at the grocery store, it was busier than usual. Normally when I shop there for quick items there’s hardly anyone there. There were some bigass pumpkins for sale out front too. I had to go and admire them, they tickled me.

I stocked up on baking ingredients for vegan brownies. I’m gonna make a double batch to send to our daughter for the last package of her birthday month extravaganza and will make a batch for us to try. She said they were really yummy and they gobbled them up quickly, so I’m sending double the amount this time. Yay! I love baking when it’s wintery out too.

Here’s the video I did today.

I rambled a bit about boundaries. Sometimes I still have issues with boundaries, when someone is being manipulative it gets confusing. It will take me effort to get clarity when someone gets defensive, then twists things around labeling me as the offender because they want to maintain power and control while protecting their fragile ego when I’m just stating my view and trying to crystallize the boundaries and get some acknowledgment and accountability from them.

I’m reading Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and Feeling Good by David Burns. It’s helpful to keep reading up and learning so I can continue to get healthier and increase my skills. I find that repetition and review enable concepts and practices to become part of a healthy repertoire. Plus I can share what I’ve learned with others too.

Something that’s difficult for me to understand is how people will treat someone disrespectfully, violating boundaries, yet if someone was treating them in the same manner they would protest. Somehow they think they’re entitled to treat people poorly? Or do they lack the capacity, insight, and awareness to see what they’re doing? Or are they just hypocrites and don’t care? It’s fascinating. People are so complex and I’m always seeking to understand.

People with fragile egos are slippery AF.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201711/the-catch-22-dealing-narcissist

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-self/2018/08/narcissist-arguing/

Now whenever anyone behaves in a manipulative way my alarms start blaring and I take a step back to disengage and figure out where the boundaries are and what’s real. If the manipulative behavior is exhibited by someone I’m not close to, then it’s easy to shrug it off and then I know not to invest anymore energy into a relationship with them. Sometimes people we’re invested in will be able to maintain their facade, but eventually the truth is revealed and it’s shocking to discover they’re not the mature authentic person we believed them to be. It takes some processing to digest it and make sense of it all, but with time comes clarity and then we know how to proceed.

It’s up to each of us to enforce our personal boundaries. I believe every adult would benefit from learning about boundaries and how to deal with manipulative people. Maybe it would help people avoid being brainwashed and abused.

Michelle Miyagi
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