The Biggest Thing

This photo is from a year ago when we went to the botanic gardens. It seems like it’s been so much longer than a year, so much has happened since then. And so much hasn’t happened since then, heh. What a paradoxical year.

I made myself do more physical activity today thinking it may help improve my energy level, help shake out the last lingering bits of illness, nope. It did help me feel psychologically better though because I tidied up the house so it feels cleaner and more under control here. I read and didn’t do much else. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get to try out my new hula hoop and catch up on online socialization/connection. I will at least draw, play guitar, and do work search activities.

Fifty-one days left in the year, then I will be done with daily blogging. Almost there.

What to write about tonight, I’m so done with being sick, I’m not writing about that. I’ve basically surrendered up the rest of this year to playing it by ear. Letting go of any type of plan or goals, I’m gonna meander.

I feel better temporarily after I have a bath, so that’s nice, thankful for that. I’m grateful for my electric kettle, hot tea and for my Ninja Master Prep, I used to make a peach, pineapple, and strawberry smoothie today. I’m so glad Drue got us some more groceries and we also added me to his work insurance plan today which is cheaper than ACA, that’s good.

What have I learned from all of this downtime and surrendering? The biggest thing?

Trust.

Everything has turned out okay, more than okay. I’ve been supported and taken care of all along the way. When everything logically should’ve sent us into dire straits, it miraculously didn’t. All of my worries have been for naught.

The next thing that I’ve grown more of is faith. It’s been proven to me that it’s not foolhardy to have faith, it’s more truthful and logical to have faith because it’s the only thing that we can do when we surrender and trust. We have faith that whatever happens is in our best interests and we make the best of whatever comes our way. With illness, you can do all the right things, but there’s no guarantee that you will be healed, so you have to surrender, trust and have faith in being here and living through the storms of life that there is a higher purpose for it all.

Another thing I’ve learned is to appreciate every little joy life has to offer all the more. I’ve learned how to focus on what will empower me the most when I face limitations. Gratitude, appreciation, and savoring life is most empowering to me.

And lastly, compassion and empathy are always increased by going through challenging times. We know how it feels when we actually go through difficult experiences we can understand and empathize more strongly with others who have gone through similar situations. We can all do with more compassion for others as well as ourselves.

Time to snuggle in for the night. Maybe tomorrow I’ll awaken rejuvenated and refreshed, ready to hula hoop and seize the day.

Michelle Miyagi
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