The Logical Heart Knows Best

Every time I see this hilltop peeking up behind the foothill I wish I could fly over and see what’s in between. It reminds me of a magical land where dragons and mythical creatures might be. Then I wish I could visit New Zealand because that’s where it’s even more magical, or British Columbia too. First I want to explore here, we haven’t been able to very much yet but we will when it’s safer to travel.

The highlight of my day was Skyping with the kids, I’m so grateful every time. They’re doing well, so all’s well, we’re hunkering down and staying safe. It will be so magnificent when we do get to see each other in person again, I’m gonna squeeze them really good in a ginormous long hug and smooch their cheeks.

Not feeling inspired to write this week. It’s like we’re in a holding pattern just trying to make it through to the other side of this pandemic and getting to January 20th, we have 60 days left. I feel an ominous, heavy foreboding, and hope it’s just me being run down, still recovering from illness, and needing a change of scenery.

I missed my walk today, it’s getting dark too early, I wish they would not fall back for daylight saving time so we’d have more light later in the day. Tomorrow I will be certain to go earlier in the day so the rays will be beaming on my sun-starved skin.

I’m enjoying the books I’m reading and listening to. I feel so spoiled with all these books and multiple ways to consume them, I feel rich. I love technology! I like that I’ve set bathtub reading parameters, it’s helping me read Atomic Habits faster. And now I’m listening to books while doing my PT exercises. I have my other book Feeling Good at the table and read it every time I sit at the table and my E-reader is at my bedside. I read The Handmaid’s Tale when I can’t fall asleep fast enough.

Something nice I’ve done for myself over these past months is to get cute leggings to lounge comfortably during pandemic times. They were inexpensive and are so comfy with groovy patterns and happy words, like LOVE written on them. Then I top them off with faded, soft, broken-in-hand-me-down tees from Drue. They’re mostly beach souvenirs from Panama City Florida. They trigger happy memories from all those times, just about every summer, vacations spent on those sugary white sandy beaches and splashing in the sparkling emerald ocean. That’s my pandemic uniform.

When I get dressed in jeans to head outside my body protests, I notice every stiff constricting inch of fabric and when I get home I change back into my comfy stuff immediately.

Today I sat in chairs more rather than stretching out on the futon to build up my stamina and to feel like there’s more structure. I’m doing things at different areas of the apartment to help me feel like I’m getting a change of scenery and to give me more movement so I don’t feel as cooped up. I have choices of areas where I can do different activities.

I have my drawing stuff out on the table and my guitar out where I see it so will remember to practice and draw. I have my notebooks and books lined up next to my feet under my desk where I can see the titles so I don’t forget about the workbooks/projects I’m mid-way through. All of these visual cues in my environment set me up for more success in completing the things I wish to accomplish.

I’m gradually getting back into my routine and that feels good. I know that soon I’ll be back in a good groove again, it’s the ebb and flow, that’s how it goes here. Everything is always in flux and flow, in motion. I’m thankful I’m able to get my bearings and jump back in again and again. Splish.

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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