Let Go and Trust

I spent the afternoon shopping for the kids online and while I was at it I looked at toasters for us. There are so many choices for everything, it’s hard to decide. I spent a long time choosing but felt confident in my decisions. The toasters? I couldn’t decide. Ours works well enough. The buttons are useless for the frozen and bagel settings because there is no way to tell if you’ve activated them. Not a priority, lol. I thought I might catch a good deal on Cyber Monday is all.

I can’t pull the trigger on a new laptop yet. I’m researching how to put an SSD in it to make ours last longer. It’s only 4 years old, so it has some life left. It’s getting slower and sometimes has difficulty loading windows. 

Tonight was grocery shopping, yay! I got to go someplace other than here, lol. I wonder how it’s gonna be when we can move about freely without so much caution. I bet it’s gonna feel awkward yet exhilarating. It’s will be magnificent. I wonder if we’ll have a giant celebration everywhere when it’s finally safe. 

Now I’m listening to a book called Reckoning by Linda Hirshman. I’m on the third chapter. It’s hard to believe how recent the history is on addressing gender inequities with sexual harassment and women’s rights. We’ve still got so far to go.

This week I’ve been practicing letting go even further. When my mind drifts to anxious thoughts about the future or resisting what is, I remind myself to allow the universe to take care of it all. I sink into the center of peace within me and say, let everything be, it’s all taken care of. I remember I can only address what’s happening today or in this moment. I can make plans if I want to, but all I ever have to do is to be present and handle what is right here and now. I am choosing to trust and have faith that everything will happen appropriately with the universe supporting me. I’m surrendering and trusting. 

We’ve all had to practice some measure of letting go and trusting during the pandemic where so much is out of our control. To function we have to let go or we risk shutting down by fear, sadness, and overwhelm. We need space to honor our concerns, to process our anxiety and emotions, but eventually, we must let go of the things we can’t control. We do our best to address what’s within our power to correct, and then we must trust and let go. 

We have to prioritize our well-being so we can be present and available to perform our chosen roles. If said roles are cannibalizing us, then we must save ourselves because then we will not be available for anybody, including ourselves.

That’s when we need faith that the universe will step in and find a replacement for whatever role we are letting go of. There’s always another way, everything is always shifting to fill in the gaps. We can afford to take care of ourselves, to do what’s right for us, knowing the universe is taking care of it all behind the scenes.

It’s essential that we take care of and honor ourselves and do what’s right and loving for us. We sometimes believe that there’s no one who can replace us, that if we don’t keep sacrificing, then things will fall apart. Maybe it needs to come crashing down because it’s not sustainable and is harming in ways we can’t see. Or maybe the universe will step in and all will be well. We can stop what’s no longer aligned with our best interests and do what’s most loving of ourselves. 

My heart goes out to everyone during this pandemic. It’s been a trying time for us all in varying degrees. It will be such a relief when we get through this winter surge. Until then I am letting go of the things I can’t control and trusting that everything is working in a way that is moving us closer to love and peace underneath it all.