Humble Acceptance

It’s snowing until Saturday, I’m still mesmerized by the snow! One day I’d love to go sledding down the designated hill near here. They sell colorful plastic sledding boards at the grocery store. I know, I could drive to the hill, park, and watch, to see how it’s done first. Maybe on Sunday if there’s enough snow still sticking.

I’m enjoying the book called Feeling Good by David Burns. It’s my bathtub reading now. It has excellent instructions on how to question your negative thinking/cognitive distortions until you undo them and reprogram them with more realistic, healthy thinking. You change your thinking, which improves your mood and behaviors.

I listened to Peace is Every Breath by Thich Nhat Hanh today. It was delightful. I could listen to his books every single day, they’re so soothing and remind me to practice mindfulness, presence, gratitude, surrender, and harmony.

We watched a movie called Gemini last night. It was intriguing and beautifully shot. It left us with more questions than answers. It leaves you uneasy, puzzling over the details to see how to fit the pieces together. You can’t quite pin down what really happened.

I took comfort in cooking a pot of green lentils, with sides of cabbage and couscous this afternoon. Having practical tasks to do with your hands is therapeutic. And having a yummy meal, as a result, is magnificent. I enjoy doing the dishes afterward because of the fragrant, woodsy holiday dish soap, sudsy aromatherapy for me.

The days are becoming more amorphous as winter sets in. The days are so short when you’re on a later schedule like we are. I’m viewing it as a snuggly, comfortable, dreamy time. It won’t last forever. In March we will spring forward for longer days again.

I think I’m figuring out what benefits I’m gaining from having persistent health issues. It’s showing me I don’t have to be highly productive or performing and achieving to earn my right to exist. I am inherently worthy and don’t have to jump through everlasting hoops to prove myself, or to meet expectations imposed by myself or the world at large. I am worthy just as I am and it’s okay to not be at your best all the time because sometimes there really are limitations that are beyond your control as in when illness strikes. Sometimes it’s necessary to let the world catch you when you fall, and it’s alright because it has to be. You humbly accept and surrender.

Time to make a hot cup of Candy Cane Lane tea and burrow in for the dark snowy night. So thankful to be cozy, safe and sound.

Michelle Miyagi
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