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Self-Compassionate Boundaries

The Logical Heart Knows Best

The most important lesson I’ve learned in life is the necessity of self-compassion.

They teach us to consider others first and to conform to the rules of our societies or else be outcast, judged, or punished. Our culture socializes women to be quiet, submissive, caretakers who are subordinate, passive, and non-aggressive. From birth, they train us in our supposedly innate gender roles (research has disproven these “innate” gender differences) and expectations.

We internalize these messages and believe we are not as deserving as others. We put ourselves last and neglect ourselves because we’re supposed to be compassionate and help others first. Women soothe and smooth things over while we’re drowning under the weight of excessive demands.

We’re overly sexualized, objectified, and commodified. Others feel entitled to our free emotional and domestic labor. They routinely dismiss us as unintelligent, less capable, hysterical, and we’re not taken seriously, so much so that women die because they’re not included as much in medical research and are medically gaslit. They dismiss our acute physical problems as it’s just anxiety or “you just need to lose weight.” It’s even much worse for women of color.

We’re also overwhelmed with messages from media and marketing that we’re not good enough, we’re flawed, and need to buy in and reach for perfection. It’s a huge scam!

I’m still learning so much and it feels good to read current feminist books that define what’s always nagged at me, all these years, but I couldn’t distill it with clarity. It was beneath the surface, invisible until called out and put into words. It’s woven into the fabric of our societies.

It’s taken me a long, arduous journey to reach an equivalent level of self-compassion. Compassion I’ve so freely given to others to the point of hurting myself. Well, no more. It feels liberating to give myself permission to be entitled and deserving, just as anyone else is.

I look back and see everything with more clarity, and it saddens me because I didn’t know any better. I want all of us to know better so we can make healthier choices and enforce self-compassionate boundaries. The goal is for everyone to be treated as humans with equal rights, respect, honor, and dignity. No double standards or dehumanization to where there is no need to enforce boundaries because we will have transformed into a fully egalitarian world.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25433138-everyday-sexism

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50726976-entitled

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50489365-think-like-a-feminist

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56347680-the-right-to-sex

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56898281-the-pain-gap

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43183922-nobody-s-victim

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50892152-rude

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43886164-burn-it-down

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43818540-life-isn-t-binary

Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I’m helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. 
If you’d like to work with me, book a free call ♡
I’m offering the Be Good to You coaching package to help you prioritize yourself by empowering you to create healthier boundaries and practices to be proactive and prevent engulfment, compassion fatigue, and burnout.
I will guide you into establishing healthier boundaries and habits that will help you restore yourself and get back on track. We will meet for an hour every other week for 3 months, where we will create a unique individualized plan for you to make changes that benefit you the most. I will be there to support and validate you along the way, keeping you reassured and motivated to prioritize yourself by making the changes that are good for you. ♡
BE GOOD TO YOU

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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