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Should We Toughen Up?

The Logical Heart Knows Best

I disagree with the idea of whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and that we need to toughen up. I believe that there is already enough adversity we all go through in life and we do not need to add more on top of it. Quite the opposite is what I support.

Instead of hardening and closing ourselves off, we would benefit more from opening, softening, and expanding compassion, kindness, gentleness, and understanding. Sure, we grow and become stronger through adversity sometimes, but not always. It’s important to honor our pain, our feelings, and our trauma, to acknowledge it, process it, heal and reintegrate.

It is the silencing, the denying, the telling ourselves and others to just toughen up while bypassing or compartmentalizing that causes lasting harm and is damaging as opposed to strengthening us. When we don’t heal, we perpetuate the harm. By toughening up, we lose touch with our hearts and compassion.

Sometimes what doesn’t kill us leads to intergenerational trauma, passed down until one of us stops the pattern by choosing compassion. It takes strength to be compassionate and choose differently from everyone else. To speak up when no one else does. To be the one to say the emperor’s not wearing any clothes. This is true strength. ♡

Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I’m helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. 
If you’d like to work with me, book a free call ♡
I’m offering the Be Good to You coaching package to help you prioritize yourself by empowering you to create healthier boundaries and practices to be proactive and prevent engulfment, compassion fatigue, and burnout.
I will guide you into establishing healthier boundaries and habits that will help you restore yourself and get back on track. We will meet for an hour every other week for 3 months, where we will create a unique individualized plan for you to make changes that benefit you the most. I will be there to support and validate you along the way, keeping you reassured and motivated to prioritize yourself by making the changes that are good for you. ♡
BE GOOD TO YOU

Michelle Miyagi
Hi! I was an RN, BSN in mental/behavioral health for 27 years. Now I'm helping empower caring people like me to prioritize themselves by maintaining healthier boundaries for more freedom, peace, and joy. I am also active in Long Covid advocacy.

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