Mutual Abuse?

There have been discussions recently about the concept of mutual abuse. In most domestic violence cases, mutual abuse is not true. There is an abuser who has more power than the person they are abusing. The person being abused may fight back, but that is not mutual abuse.

Men typically have more power than women and in a majority of cases, it is men who are abusive though women can be abusers as well. Women abuse men, but it is less frequent or not as widely reported.

Domestic abuse is about exerting power and control over someone, so there is an imbalance of power with the use of aggression, manipulation, and coercive control. Abusers often have dysfunctional, immature, disordered personality traits along a spectrum with varying severities, with poor impulse control. A person who has a history of being paranoid, possessive, controlling, jealous, verbally abusive, plus shouting, angry, violent, threatening outbursts, and destroying property is abusive.

I find it so disheartening that our society is still victim-blaming and automatically defaulting to misogynistic ideology. False accusations by women are statistically rare. The only people who know the whole truth about the abuse are the ones who were there, who were cognitively intact and experienced it. If we aren’t able to speak out against abuse and be believed when we do, how are things ever going to get better? ♡

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