Why Not Just Leave?

I know, I’ve thought it before…”Why don’t they leave?”

My perspective changed when I learned more about abuse and realized people had abused me and I thought it was normal behavior? I tried to deny it and talk myself out of what I realized. But once you become aware, you can’t take it back. You know the truth and it’s hard to minimize and make excuses or justify the abuse anymore. Instead of seeing it as normal, it’s now clearly abusive behavior.

It’s not so easy to shift gears and establish healthier boundaries after accepting harmful behavior for so long. It’s hard when they’ve isolated you, and if they’ve been controlling, especially over finances, are possessive, monitoring/stalking you, and have turned people against you. When they have coercive control, it’s that much more difficult to leave. If there are children involved, that makes it even more complex, and harder.

Leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time. The abuser acts out when they no longer have power and control over you. The abuser behaves worse than they ever have when you leave. It will catch you by surprise because you’ve always coped by minimizing and denying. Their true colors really shine after you leave them.

So when people say, “Why didn’t they just leave?” They don’t know the truth, they’re ignorant. You are at the most risk when you leave, and it’s not so simple. People who are in abusive relationships and are trying to leave need all the love and support they can get!

It’s a challenging and scary time. It takes bravery, courage, strength, and the financial means to leave. You need social, emotional, and psychological support, too. It’s not as easy as you think to leave an abuser. ♡

To take the high road, you must get yourself to the solid ground of the logical heart first. This begins with you and your relationship with yourself. I can help empower you to choose what’s most loving of YOU.

If you’d like to work with me, sign up here for a free session.